In terms of puppy, which is different to newborn cause it’s all on speed, I think it’s giving me the strength to be consistent. I might have been a bit soft and let things slide with previous dogs. But this time, cause other people are with me on the journey, it feels important to do “the right things”, I guess.

Did not like hearing toilet training can take up to 6 months though!!!

And yes, it was hugely successful for me. I’m not friends with those women now – we had nothing in common and pretty much a switch went off when our babies turned one, and we all went our separate ways. But for that first 12 months, weekly, we were essential to each other.

There are some experiences which are just so odd and alienating that people even a year later have forgotten what they are like. One of the thing that surprised me as a new mother was how many older women who had raised their children were completely intolerant of the challenges of factoring in little ones. They had simply forgotten how hard it was, or rewritten it in their heads.

Even now, I look back on my most recent baby custodianship with a sort of vague, glossy fog. I can force myself to remember what it was like, but can’t capture all the feelings.

Shared adversity is a powerful thing!