I think we all came out of the Ditmars feeling sullied, maybe that was the intent. It was pretty nasty though, either way.

It’s something that needs to be constantly raised, I fear because one source is male privilege and one of the major points about privilege is that you don’t necessarily know you are exercising it until it’s pointed out to you.

Do you want to be constantly bombarded though? There’s appoint at which you can get angry, then there’s a point at which it can wear you down.

The above is an example of sexism directed broadly at all women who attend/run cons as well as very specifically at one woman, who seems to be on the receiving end of a mix of passive aggressive rubbish from sore losers and then from misogynist wankers.

It’s easy for us to stand back and say we want all the nastiness out it the open, if we are not the ones under direct attack. Alisa has to protect her health and sanity.

What to do? Broadly a concerted effort from men and women within the community (a focussed track at a con) using examples of sexism from within the community?

I am by no means saying sweep it all under the carpet or telling Alisa she should just let stuff slide/ turn the other cheek.

There is a point though at which knowing every gripe, passive aggressive whine adds nothing further to the pile of evidence.

My only huge disappointment came from the few people who had some very strange things to say about the Ditmars afterwards. I was gobsmacked, and as a Ditmar nominee who was thrilled to bits at seeing a great book come in ahead of mine, I felt sullied.

I’ll come to any con you care to organise!!

This is the proof of the hostile environment we’ve been talking about, this is the proof of the sexism we’ve been talking about. So next time someone says that geeks aren’t sexist, that Swancon isn’t an unsafe convention, we can say actually, yes, it is, and this is why.

And I want to know the sorts of things that might be said about and to me when my con has finished. I want to be prepared to fight back against this bullshit.

And I want the rest of the community, the majority who stay silent, to see this and say “that’s not on” and to not stand for it, and to stop being silent.

I agree with you on the challenging the aggressors. It’s something I have raised with the organisation, that if everyone stands by and just allows certain behaviour to be displayed, time and again, then silence is condoning the behaviour. Even just so much as, that person is never given the heads up that the behaviour is bad/offensive/ungrateful/unhelpful etc.

I guess the bit that’s hard to take is the few people who are never happy, find noone ever meets their expectations and think that if you don’t execute perfectly first time, then the idea was crap and the whole thing failed.

I don’t mind hearing about the problems – I always expected there would be some, and you can’t always fix everything or please everyone. I do though have trouble with hearing/dealing with people who think that if you “fail” on one aspect or issue, that means your entire con failed and that you are a crap person.

But in terms of the passive aggressive bullshit that’s floating your way. Is this being passed onto you by friends? Perhaps it’s better to ask them not to pass on what someone has said. Perhaps it’s better to get them(your friends) to challenge the perpetrators there and then.

I couldn’t imagine having to put up with ever wanker that wanted to take a cheap shot.

That says it all, doesn’t it?

If that Swancon was an aberration, don’t expect me or my family to go to any more. I’ll just sit back here at home, look at Cat’s awesome photos, smile and remember how brilliant it was.

Whoever is making the negative comments are jackasses. Even if they felt there were problems with the convention, there are ways of expressing that without putting down the hard work and the people who have done all this in their spare time out of love. Doing so makes these people assholes.