Comments on: So, how’s this all going to work then?

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:34:31 +0000

Well, if the one thing to learn in all this, and so far, is … every experience is unique. Which is both really annoying and I guess exciting?

Flexibility is so going to be the thing I have to learn in all this.

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:33:23 +0000

Yeah, I figure I might finally catch up on all that reading!

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:32:58 +0000

I figure, if I’m ahead of my publishing schedule going in, then I have built in flexibility going forward for however long I manage to sustain that.

But yeah, not really going to know with what we’re dealing with til we’re hands on.

Not having to deal with external workplace right now is I think a main reason I’ve been able to stay sane (literally). And I have Helen to thank forever for that.

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:30:33 +0000

I live an hour drive away from almost everyone so I need to figure out how I’m gonna do this on my own. My parents might come down and stay for a bit at the beginning but that’s not going to be part of the ongoing plan.

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:28:44 +0000

I think it’s fair to assume, whatever baby you get, those first few weeks there will be adjustment.

But yeah, I don’t much enjoy sleep debt and that feeling of pulling your brain through mud.

By: AlisaK

AlisaK — Sun, 19 May 2013 08:27:21 +0000

Some things I just won’t be able to plan for til we find out what kind of baby we got! Be nice to have one that sleeps and to be wandering around wondering what to do!

By: Helen

Helen — Thu, 16 May 2013 03:27:10 +0000

You are wise to allow yourself an adjustment period but be aware that all babies are different and I agree with . Of my two, one was a nightmare from the beginning of my pregnancy until he was one. He was prem and I had an infection from a caesarean. He started screaming at 4 weeks and didn’t stop except when he was exhausted until he was ten months (when a new paediatrician found out what was wrong with him). I was barely functioning due to sleep deprivation for that whole time but then slowly things improved and I was able to think again and go back to work. Guess why there is nearly seven years between my children.
The second was one of those poster children – after a straight forward and almost morning sickness free pregnancy she was good tempered, slept well, ate well and was a complete joy to be with. So you never know what will happen. Just be prepared to be flexible, accept help if you need it and don’t overload yourself. The one thing that is standard about babies is that nothing is standard and we all have to do what works for us and our child.

By: Tansy Rayner Roberts

Tansy Rayner Roberts — Thu, 16 May 2013 01:45:36 +0000

Oh & if nothing else, you will totally get plenty of pop culture consuming time during your babymoon! I read stacks of books while breastfeeding & cuddling baby Raeli – but Mima constantly kicked the books out of my hands like a ninja, so I kept up with podcasts instead with her. Thank goodness for the invention of the iPod.

By: Tansy Rayner Roberts

Tansy Rayner Roberts — Thu, 16 May 2013 01:42:03 +0000

As you can see from the comments so far – mileage varies!

Your plan so far sounds pretty sound, and the main thing will be to build in flexibility. The good news is that combining your baby and your small press is almost certainly going to be way more achievable than combining either of those projects (small businesses? heh) with a full time day job.

You’ll figure it out as you go, and I think those 3-4 months of ‘allowable non-productive’ time you’ve blocked out is a great start that you can build on as further information comes in.

But yes the main thing is that babies don’t necessarily start out super hard and then get gradually easier/less trouble – sleep issues aside, a baby might be more compatible with work for the first six months than the second six months. You simply don’t know, but the one rule is that it won’t be predictable.

For all my challenges with balancing my work and my kids, especially when they are tiny – I am so glad I didn’t have to factor in an external workplace during that time! Being able to use my own time management combined with baby issues worked for me – but it especially worked because I was willing to suck it up and ask for extensions, etc. when I ran out of time, because Life is Different Now and It’s Not Just About You and Your Pride, Tansy.

It can be done. And while I have resented some of the work I had to do during the key baby years of my kids (like the horrible last 8 months of my PhD), I think it has been good for me and my brain to have my own work (the stuff I do for LOVE as well as career) there in between the breastfeedings and tummy tickles. It kept me feeling like myself, even when everything else had changed.

By: Thoraiya

Thoraiya — Wed, 15 May 2013 22:30:13 +0000

Hmm, I found that I could be productive if I had other people to take the baby while I was productive.

I had my husband and my mum looking after her (freezer full of breast milk) for a half-day at a time from about 2 months while I tried to go back to work (vet work turned out to be no good, they failed at giving me regular breaks to pump. I could write, though).

How many close-by people do you have that you love and trust to give you breaks?

(Fe: I would have killed for a dandle-able baby! Instead I had a really loud one that could only be silenced by constant entertainment, hated the car, hated the pram…all my friends’ babies were relaxed and content-seeming, I was so jealous!)

By: Melina D

Melina D — Wed, 15 May 2013 21:10:36 +0000

I was at work up until 8 months – sore and waddling, but managing to wrangle children and write report cards still Around 39/40 weeks I was grumpy and unlivable with – but terribly bored. Some small things to do would have been nice (I couldn’t use my hands)

Christian doesn’t nap very well, so I find it hard to do things during the day – I get most things done at night.Some people get babies who regularly nap up to 3 hours at a time . . . It’s been hard since he’s mixed crawling, standing and getting into everything – the last 2 months or so – I get almost nothing done while he’s awake now.

By: Deb Kalin

Deb Kalin — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:09:30 +0000

I found myself unable to write from about 7.5 months, and not really able to work much from 8 months — although if I’d had a job that was flexible enough (ie letting me stop for a nap!) I’d have been able to work for longer, just at reduced capacity. Once Squawk was born, the first 4-6 weeks were for sleep and adjustment. She actually got easy to work around after that (although I was still in sleep debt territory so felt a bit too groggy for much cerebral work). Then at 12 weeks she hit a growth spurt, got a cold, and then hit her 4 month fussy/wakeful period all at once. Plan to get nothing done at that point — she was sleeping 2 or 3 38 minute naps during the day, and was awake and needed resettling every hour during the night. It was … unpleasant and left me feeling sick from the sleep debt. So maybe budget yourself a month, somewhere around the 4 month mark, for another intensive adjustment period.

By: Fe

Fe — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:49:21 +0000

I actually found (after the first 6 weeks) that the rest of the first 6/7 months I had _buckets_ of time… Baby slept a lot more than I necessarily anticipated, and was quite … dandle-able … if there where things I needed doing. It was only after that that it got harder to manage time. I have vivid memories of a couple of occasions sitting there wondering what I would do—because baby was still sleeping and I’d done everything needed…

By: Josh Gentry

Josh Gentry — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:38:42 +0000

Go you. No doubt you will find your way to make it work.