I’m loving this book so much – it seems I’ve been starving for excellent Australian science fiction and this book is just absolutely satisfying the craving. I know I’m going to be sorry when it finishes – I’ve been carrying it around with me everywhere to grab a quick chapter whenever I have a moment. I can’t even remember the last novel I did that with.

Here’s a sneak para I just read:

… you soon come to realise that every culture has its own version of untouchable.”

She looks away, suddenly embarrassed, and belatedly I realise she’s referring to people like me. Braheem shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

I think back to my teens and early adulthood, and all the confusion I’d felt over who I was. Those who present as androgynously as I do are a walking, talking question mark for the community to feel confused about. Some even seem to think we’ve been designed deliberately to mock them.

This book is so so good! It’s a brilliant dystopian Melbourne after a hideously gone wrong vaccine program to combat a bird flu pandemic. I know Tansy already mentioned on GS how uncomfortable she is with that in relation to the current day issue of misinformation and hysteria over vaccinating children etc. But I am reminded of the stockpiling that happened in Australia of Tamiflu for the supposed impending of bird flu outbreak here several years ago – and questions over whether Tamiflu would work, if people were administering it to colds and not even flu and if in fact the stockpiling would result in tonnes of out of date product etc.

In Westwood’s post apocalypse, of sorts, Australians have lost their virility. And the religious zealot right wing has come into power to police how people live and think. Scientific engineering of nature is outlawed and there is a crack down on “perversion” ie not conforming to the gender norms.

This book is a gorgeous melding of the exploration of potential impacts of engineering nature, political reactionism and gender identity and acceptance (or lack of) in society. Whilst grim in content, this book is exquisitely written and uplifting to read gritty, in depth examination of current day issues. You know, what science fiction is supposed to be.

I want more Westwood!

I didn’t train it in today, though

And in all the sorting through craft projects, I found a cross stitch I had been avidly working on like two years ago that I had, for reasons now forgotten, abandoned. I picked it up over the weekend and have been working on it – got my crafting mojo back! It’s not any of the projects I had been working on earlier this year but, I think I’ll take what I can get. It’s a WIP that with a bit of concentration could be easily finished soon. And I think I’m not really into the rest just yet because my craft space hasn’t been set up – still kinda trying to work out where it should be and how I should do it. And I need a tonne of storage which I’m going to think about *later*. I did discover a couple of things about the cross stitch that I think are interesting to observe – I never ever mark up the grid when I sew. Because why? I think because “in case I want to do it again” – as if you ever would!! So. Me two years on is all, “right, let’s get a highlighter and get right in here and see what’s what”. Issue 2, I think I discovered as being maybe a few stray crosses stitched in the wrong place in the background texture. Me two years on is all “it can be finished, or it can be perfect, wing it”. So I’ve been being a bit liberal with which stitches go where and it’s all good. It’s totally fine. And then issue 3 was, I think, that I ran out of one, maybe two of the threads, and/or I used pale grey for pale silver and didn’t know what to do about it. So this one was tricky, for all of an hour or two. Then I remembered I bought in a catalogue on sale once, like 300 different colours of thread. Cause they were cheap. And I’ve been looking at all those shades and rainbow of colours and wondering what in the hell I was going to use them for. Because all my projects (probably 15 years worth) are kits that come with their own colours. Yup. Stashing in the finest of forms. So I wondered if I might be able to match the colour I’d run out of in this 300 options. And you know? Maybe it works, maybe it’s so slightly off you can only tell under brilliant lighting but … it helped me move on from the problem and get the job done.

So at least in two years, I have managed to learn how to maneouver myself out of previous points of project perfection paralysis. And the question now arises – what are the stalling points on the other WIPs? Are they as easily solved? Is it a matter of taking each one and working on it one by one to discover and solve? I guess stay tuned.

As for the book pile. I decided to catalogue in a spreadsheet before they got moved around. And this process highlighted 6 books that didn’t need to be there and so they were removed. Win. And then a few more of the graphic novels that I think I have read (and were there because C was reading them) but I can’t remember,  so they might be quick to get out of the to read pile eventually. And then I sorted the books into variuos categories. Not quite sure what I am going to do with them but I think I’d benefit from mixing up what I read a bit. So I’m reading before bed one short story a night from The Locus Awards Anthology. I’ve been wanting to read it for a while. I also want to work through some great collections I have there. Maybe if I read novels on the train, one punch out short a night before bed might be the right balance (assuming I find time for Last Short Story elsewhere). I’m trying to get into a new bed time routine and this has been good so far – I had to take a break from Joanna Russ for a bit. So last night I read Octavia Butler and the night before Connie Willis. Can’t much complain about the standard

My haul (for a mere $37 – ridiculous!)

– Enchanted Glass by Diana Wynne Jones

– Villette by Charlotte Bronte

– Passage by Connie Willis

– Wizard Squared by K E Mills

– The Margarets by Sheri S Tepper

Now, I’d been starting to think, since I HAVE been reading, that I could justify some book accumulation. Probably not 5 new books though. So am blogging here to remind myself to either finish 5 books and/or remove 5 books from my current collection/to read shelves.

I’m going to post it here not because I can bold a lot as read, but because I can italicise a lot being in my to read shelves and because by the end of this year, I want to reflect and see how I’ve done!

He says:

I love the short story format and the problem with a lot of the book memes circulating is that they exclusively focus on novels. I’ve done some crowd sourcing (and some personal recommendations of course–this list isn’t meant to be objective) and I’ve come up with a list of 166 short story collections.

The usual rules apply: bold those that you’ve read and italicize those that you own but haven’t read.

1. The Monkey’s Wedding and Other Stories by Joan Aiken
2. Rashomon and Seventeen Other Stories by Ryunosuke Akutagawa
3. The Kite of Stars and Other Stories by Dean Francis Alfar
4. I, Robot by Isaac Asimov
5. Black Projects, White Knights by Kage Baker
6. The Best of J. G. Ballard by J.G. Ballard
7. Perpetuity Blues and Other Stories by Neal Barrett, Jr.
8. The Imago Sequence and Other Stories by Laird Barron
9. Occultation by Laird Barron
10. Mirror Kingdoms: The Best of Peter S. Beagle
11. The Collected Stories of Greg Bear by Greg Bear
12. The Chains That You Refuse by Elizabeth Bear
13. The Girl With The Flammable Skirt by Aimee Bender
14. Lord Stink & Other Stories by Judith Berman
15. Trysts: A Triskaidecollection of Queer and Weird Stories by Steve Berman
16. A Book of Endings by Deborah Biancotti
17. Blooded on Arachne by Michael Bishop
18. One Winter in Eden by Michael Bishop
19. The Poison Eaters & Other Stories by Holly Black
20. Labyrinths: Selected Stories and Other Writings by Jorge Luis Borges
21. From the Files of the Time Rangers by Richard Bowes
22. Streetcar Dreams by Richard Bowes
23. The Stories of Ray Bradbury by Ray Bradbury
24. Graveyard People: The Collected Cedar Hill Stories by Gary Braunbeck
25. Home before Dark: The Collected Cedar Hill Stories by Gary Braunbeck
26. Particle Theory by Edward Bryant
27. Tides from the New Worlds by Tobias S. Buckell
28. Bloodchild and Other Stories By Octavia E. Butler
29. Dirty Work: Stories by Pat Cadigan
30. The Night We Buried Road Dog by Jack Cady
31. The Panic Hand by Jonathan Carroll
32. Burning Your Boats: The Collected Short Stories by Angela Carter
33. Fireworks: Nine Stories in Various Disguises by Angela Carter
34. The Bloody Chamber: And Other Stories by Angela Carter
35. The Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang
36. The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke by Arthur C. Clarke
37. The Ladies of Grace Adieu and Other Stories by Susanna Clarke
38. Novelties & Souvenirs, Collected Short Fiction by John Crowley
39. The Avram Davidson Treasury by Avram Davidson
40. The Enquiries of Dr. Eszterhazy by Avram Davidson
41. Driftglass: Ten Tales of Speculative Fiction by Samuel R. Delany
42. We Can Remember It for You Wholesale by Philip K. Dick
43. Strange Days: Fabulous Journeys with Gardner Dozois by Gardner Dozois
44. Beluthahatchie by Andy Duncan
45. What Will Come After by Scott Edelman
46. Axiomatic by Greg Egan
47. I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison
48. The Beast that Shouted Love at the Heart of the World by Harlan Ellison
49. Deathbird Stories by Harlan Ellison
50. The Collected Stories of Carol Emshwiller by Carol Emshwiller
51. Dangerous Space by Kelley Eskridge
52. Fugue State by Brian Evenson
53. Harsh Oases by Paul Di Filippo
54. The Fantasy Writer’s Assistant and Other Stories by Jeffrey Ford
55. The Empire of Ice Cream by Jeffrey Ford
56. The Drowned Life by Jeffrey Ford
57. Returning My Sister’s Face and Other Far Eastern Tales of Whimsy and Malice by Eugie Foster
58. Artificial Things by Karen Joy Fowler
59. What I Didn’t See and Other Stories by Karen Joy Fowler
60. Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
61. Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
62. Burning Chrome by William Gibson
63. In the Forest of Forgetting by Theodora Goss
64. Take No Prisoners by John Grant
65. A Separate War and Other Stories by Joe Haldeman
66. Last Summer at Mars Hill by Elizabeth Hand
67. Saffron & Brimstone: Strange Stories by Elizabeth Hand
68. Things That Never Happen by M. John Harrison
69. The Past Through Tomorrow by Robert Heinlein
70. 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill
71. Skin Folk by Nalo Hopkinson
72. The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian by Robert E. Howard
73. The Lottery and Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
74. Unexpected Magics: Collected Stories by Diana Wynne Jones
75. Minor Arcana by Diana Wynne Jones
76. Grazing the Long Acre by Gwyneth Jones
77. The Wreck of the Godspeed and Other Stories by James Patrick Kelly
78. The Baum Plan for Financial Independence and Other Stories by John Kessel
79. Night Shift by Stephen King
80. Different Seasons by Stephen King
81. Hearts in Atlantis by Stephen King
82. Portable Childhoods by Ellen Klages
83. Scenting the Dark and Other Stories by Mary Robinette Kowal
84. Nano Comes to Clifford Falls and Other Stories by Nancy Kress
85. Nine Hundred Grandmothers by R.A. Lafferty
86. Objects of Worship by Claude Lalumiere
87. Black Juice by Margo Lanagan
88. Red Spikes by Margo Lanagan
89. Yellowcake by Margo Lanagan
90. Mr. Gaunt and Other Uneasy Encounters by John Langan
91. The Best of Joe R. Lansdale by Joe R. Lansdale
92. The Wind’s Twelve Quarters by Ursula K. Le Guin
93. The Compass Rose by Ursula K. Le Guin
94. The Birthday of the World and Other Stories by Ursula K. Le Guin
95. Red as Blood, or Tales from the Sisters Grimmer by Tanith Lee
96. The First Book of Lankhmar by Fritz Leiber
97. The Second Book of Lankhmar by Fritz Leiber
98. The Nightmare Factory by Thomas Ligotti
99. Stranger Things Happen by Kelly Link
100. Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link
101. Engines of Desire: Tales of Love & Other Horrors by Livia Llewellyn
102. H. P. Lovecraft: Tales by H.P. Lovecraft
103. Breathmoss and other Exhalations by Ian R. MacLeod
104. You Might Sleep by Nick Mamatas
105. Dreamsongs: A RRetrospective by George R. R. Martin
106. The Invisible Country by Paul McAuley
107. Harrowing the Dragon by Patricia McKillip
108. The Bone Key by Sarah Monette
109. The Best of Michael Moorcock by Michael Moorcock
110. Black God’s Kiss by C.L. Moore
111. The Cat’s Pajamas and Other Stories by James Morrow
112. Dreams of the Compass Rose by Vera Nazarian
113. Unforgivable Stories by Kim Newman
114. The Secret Files of the Diogenes Club by Kim Newman
115. The Original Dr. Shade and Other Stories by Kim Newman
116. Monstrous Affections by David Nickle
117. The Best of Larry Niven by Larry Niven
118. I Am No One You Know: Stories by Joyce Carol Oates
119. The Complete Stories by Flannery O’Connor
120. Zoo by Otsuichi
121. Lesser Demons by Norman Partridge
122. Mr. Fox and Other Feral Tales by Norman Partridge
123. Night Moves and Other Stories by Tim Powers
124. Little Gods by Tim Pratt
125. Map of Dreams by M. Rickert
126. Holiday by M. Rickert
127. The Best of Kim Stanley Robinson by Kim Stanley Robinson
128. The Ant King and Other Stories by Benjamin Rosenbaum
129. Unacceptable Behaviour by Penelope Rowe
130. The Adventures of Alyx by Joanna Russ
131. Long Walks, Last Flights, and Other Journeys by Ken Scholes
132. Filter House by Nisi Shawl
133. Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical by Rob Shearman
134. The Jaguar Hunter by Lucius Shepard
135. Trujillo and Other Stories by Lucius Shepard
136. Phases of the Moon: Stories from Six Decades by Robert Silverberg
137. Are You There and Other Stories by Jack Skillingstead
138. The Girl With No Hands and Other Tales by Angela Slatter
139. Crystal Express by Bruce Sterling
140. Ascendancies: The Best of Bruce Sterling
141. Houses Without Doors by Peter Straub
142. Magic Terror: 7 Tales by Peter Straub
143. Absolute Uncertainty by Lucy Sussex
144. The Best of Michael Swanwick by Michael Swanwick
145. Gravity’s Angels: 13 Stories by Michael Swanwick
146. Monterra’s Deliciosa & Other Tales & by Anna Tambour
147. The Ice Downstream by Melanie Tem
148. The Far Side of the Lake by Steve Rasnic Tem
149. Her Smoke Rose Up Forever by James Tiptree, Jr.
150. Ten Thousand Light-Years from Home by James Tiptree, Jr.
151. In the Mean Time by Paul Tremblay
152. My Pathology by Lisa Tuttle
153. Ventriloquism by Catherynne M. Valente
154. The Jack Vance Reader by Jack Vance
155. City of Saints and Madmen by Jeff VanderMeer
156. The Third Bear by Jeff VanderMeer
157. Strange Things in Close-up; the Nearly Complete Howard Waldrop
158. Dead Sea Fruit by Kaaron Warren
159. Everland and Other Stories by Paul Witcover
160. The Island of Doctor Death and Other Stories and Other Stories by Gene Wolfe
161. The Very Best of Gene Wolfe by Gene Wolfe
162. Impossible Things by Connie Willis
163. Fire Watch by Connie Willis
164. The Doors of His Face, The Lamps of His Mouth and Other Stories by Roger Zelazny
165. Impossible Stories by Zoran Zivkovic
166. The Writer, The Book, The Reader by Zoran Zivkovic

As you can see, I am a *collector* of great short story collections! I have started some of the above but apparently only completed the one I published! Goal for the year (possibly my year post Swancon ie Swancon to Swancon) is to read the italicised ones and chase down some of the others on here I really wand to read.

Course I always mean to do this with those novel memes too. I’m hoping this will be more motivating because short stories are my business and also because the commitment is less.

Critics who are too sensible to succumb to some version of She didn’t write it and too decent to resort to the (always rather snide) She did, but she shouldn’t have can often find other ways to dismiss the tuneful yodelling and graceful ice-sliding of those wrongly shaped – or wrongly tinted – Glotolog who somehow persist in producing art despite the obstacles arrayed against them. Motives for the dismissal differ: habit, laziness, reliance on history or criticism that is already corrupt, ignorance (the most excusable of all, surely), the desire not to disturb the comfort based on that ignorance (much less excusable), the dim (or not-so-dim) perception that one’s self-esteem or sex-based interests are at stake, the desire to stay within an all-male, all-white club that is, whatever its drawbacks, familiar and comfortable, and sometimes the clear perception that letting outsiders into the club, economically or otherwise, will disturb the structure of quid pro quo that keeps the club going.

- How to Suppress Women’s Writing, Joanna Russ, University of Texas Press, 1983

Friday night we were supposed to meet at my place and then head down to C’s. We ended up procrastinating such that we decided to go out for dinner with my parents’ first. They were going Italian (and not Chinese – I know!) and it was some place that they couldn’t give directions to meet them, we had to go with. I was almost expecting a secret knock or password on arrival. Dinner was lovely and it was nice to catch up with my parents. C has been sick all week so he was a bit quiet. We went back to their place for coffee and then just decided to sleep at my place and be done.

That meant heading down to C’s in two cars the next day. And getting up earlier than I would like on the weekend. But I grabbed me a lovely cup of coffee from my fave place and turned on the RTR Saturday jazz and totally enjoyed the drive down. I’ve been getting into RTR Radio finally. Just like how it took me lots of tries to like Triple J in the beginning, I’ve really struggled to connect with RTR. And then a couple of weekends ago, C had it on in his car and it was the Saturday morning Jazz and I loved it and have been pretty much tuned into them since.

And then I did this weird thing whilst C was out most of the mid day at rugby. I read. A lot. Of short stories. And I enjoyed it. I’ve actually done this for most of the weekend in preference to anything else, including television. It’s really really weird. And I’ve really enjoyed it. I found my first 5 story for the year – it made me cry. Mondy has already blogged it but the F&SF issue for March/April features a story called “The Paper Menagerie” by Ken Liu is one of my picks for the year. LOVED IT. Yay! I love loving reading shorts again. I’m also enjoying reading Engineering Infinity and an anthology with a climate change theme called Welcome to the Glasshouse.

Saturday night we hung out with C’s parents and tried a new place down in R’ham called Mash. I think it’s trying to be like Little Creatures.

Today we headed up to the Barrack St Jetty to have brunch with some old workmates of mine at a place called Sassy’s on the Swan. The breakfast was very good. And it was so so so good to hang out with G and A and their partners. I miss not working with them anymore. They help make the world make sense. Sooooo good to see them. And to have time to sit and idly eat breakfast on a Sunday morning.

And you’ll never guess what I spent the afternoon doing. Yup. Reading.

Very happy.

So it’s not really surprising that I have no idea what one does when one does not do things. I’ve had to actively remind myself that I am not doing things now. Often. And that I should not have a daily to do list or a daily quota of any kind that needs meeting. And that it’s ok, mandatory, in fact, to actively NOT do things on whole days. Because, this will make me feel better (soon I hope! I’m still having Swancon nightmares).

So, what DO you do under such cirmcumstances.

Well. I’ve reorganised the TPP stock. Seriously. I am someone who constantly sets random milestones or goals or triggers for action, places along the way for marking progress and personal reward. And one of the things I like to see is a decline in the number of stock TPP holds (duh). And so, I’m forever rearranging and reorganising all the books in their boxes. If two boxes are each half full, why, combining them would remove an empty box from the house = progress! That kind of thing. But what with shuffling books in and out of boxes and also taking stock to Worldcon and Swancon and back, everything was kind of all over the place and I no longer knew what was in each box or what books were where.

So, reorganisation was in order! Also a labelling system. And sure,  I admit, this (see Exhibit A, to the left) could have been overkill but it’s pretty glorious to be able to figure out what books are where.  And the shuffling of books between boxes can continue.

I’ve also been reading. I can hardly believe it –  I thought it would be so much harder to get myself back there. It turns out that 1) I love reading and 2) when I have the time, I love to, and can, read. I’ve nearly read another book in a week – so two in the last fortnight after possibly none in the whole year beforehand. And I’ve gotten back onto the Last Short Story saddle. Today I read an issue of Asimovs, the most recent issue of Electric Velocipede and half of a SF anthology. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to be reading again. And enjoying reading again. It might be that I don’t get to do it every day when things ramp back up again (they will ramp up again, I spose, much as I’ve promised myself a year of no additional commitments at all – a promise far more strict than The Bet) but even a couple of days a week would keep me happy.

I have sat down now to read The Female Man and decided to start back at the beginning since I hadn’t gotten that far in when I started it before and I read the quote at the beginning of the book – by R.D. Laing in The Politics of Experience (Penguin 1967) and I *had* to repeat some of it here. After the goings on of about the last week, it made me laugh.

If Jack succeeds in forgetting something, this is of little use if Jill continues to remind him of it. He must induce her not to do so. The safest way would be not just to make her keep quiet about it, but to induce her to forget it also.

Jack may act upon Jill in many ways. He may make her feel guilty for keeping on “bringing it up”. He may invalidate her experience. This can be done-more or less radically. He can indicate merely that it is unimportant or trivial, whereas it is important and significant to her. Going further, he can shift the modality of her experience from memory to imagination: “It”s all in your imagination.” Further still, he can invalidate the content. “It never happened that way.” Finally, he can invalidate not only the significance, modality and content, but her very capacity to remember at all, and make her feel guilty for doing so into the bargain.

This is not unusual. People are doing such things to each other all the time. In order for such transpersonal invalidation to work, however, it is advisable to overlay it with a thick patina of mystification. For instance, by denying that this is what one is doing, and further invalidating any perception that it is being done, by ascriptions such as “How can you think such a thing 1″ “You must be paranoid.” And so on.

Mine is the smaller pile and the tall one to the right is C’s. He will no doubt get through his quicker than I will mine. Still, I really am looking forward to having time to read and focus to read again. And I’m looking forward to all the books in my pile – Bold as Love by Gwenyth Jones, Dervish House by Ian McDonald, Shattered City by Tansy Rayner Roberts, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N K Jemisin.

The Madigan Mine was my con reading. Funnily enough, one of the things on my After Swancon To Do List was to relearn to read. I really have lost the attention span or skillset to read a full novel. And I’m sad and miss it. I hate not being able to join in or contribute to that section of Galactic Suburbia. I had teed up an interview with the author of Madigan Mine – Kirstyn McDermott – for Galactic Chat and was intent on reading the book as research.

I failed to finish the book in time for the interview but I got something else instead. I got hooked on reading a novel. I took it with me to the hotel and found that I needed some reading in bed before being able to fall asleep each night. I was so hyped with adrenalin (and so constantly AWAKE!) that I hadn’t been sleeping for weeks and was not finding watching TV before bed helpful. I had intended to be strict with myself once the con was over in terms of finding time to read by taking the last hour before sleep for just that and so figured no time like the present to begin. And it worked! I found a way to wind down for sleeping but I also found Madigan Mine gripping and engaging such that I forgot I was *reading a book* and just read the book. Dipping into it whenever I’ve had a free moment since, I’ve almost read a whole book, in one period of time, over one week.

I’m very excited to possibly have my reading groove back. And I must recommend Madigan Mine for being such a good book as to be able to do that without having had to work at it. (It is of the darker end of the genre spectrum though, for those not really into horror.)