March 20   Frustrating days

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I am so struggling to keep a daily blog. I can’t even express how frustrating I find this one thing. I’ve been blogging for longer than any of the other things that I do. I started my first blog, back in the days of Diaryland (yes, I am *that* old), to make sure that there was some point in my day, every day, that I sat down and wrote something. So it’s really sad for me to turn around at the end of another week and see that I didn’t get time to sit down and write something.

And it’s also frustrating to me that I am still grappling with what does and does not feel appropriate to post about. It used to be that everything in my life was fair game. And I posted in a no holds barred way. And maybe that became a bit of a train wreck at some points. I made and lost friends over some of the posts. But it felt a lot less restrictive. These days, even though they aren’t really directly linked, I am still the public face for my press and that’s deeply important to me.

Actually, I do have a few things I want to sit down and write about and I hope I will start to get on top of things so that I can sit down and … write again. Because that’s the other thing giving me great frustrating these days – time. And my lack of it. I’m desperately frustrated at the moment – drowning and drowning in my frustration about the drowning. And I guess more than a little frustrated at my current lack of being able to do something about it. There are a few things going on in the background but none of them are guaranteed at the moment. And so I am left with constantly feeling like no matter how hard I work, I have barely taken a chunk out of the to do pile. I worked solidly yesterday all day, even waking up a bit early for me for a Sunday, and still barely scraped the surface. It’s a very very upsetting thing to see where it is you want to go, and the path you need to take but a lack in the funds and time to actually do it. And if that is why I ultimately fail, I will be heartbroken about it, I think.

I hope this malaise is really just the dark before the dawn. I do have things in motion to deal with some of these things. I’ve had to admit that I really am going to have to delegate if I want to get as much as I want done. There is really only so much work that one person can do in a week. I’ve been so lucky to have Terri come on board to pick up Publicity and Promotions for me. It’s such a crucial aspect and yet so easy to not be on top of as you grapple to meet print deadlines and editing and so on. We had a really productive 3 hour(!) meeting a couple of weeks ago now and have so many ideas and tasks to develop. I’m also hoping t oset up some new interns who are coming on board. We really do have some cool projects under development, and I can’t wait to start making progress on them.



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