Champagne and Socks

I needed to post about my Nana before I could post anything else here, it didn’t feel right. I hope also it’s understandable that I will be a bit unreliable on things whilst I take a bit more time out of commitments and also that I may not make it to Swancon.

Also this week, in the midst of everything else, I gave notice at work and resigned on Tuesday. An old boss had come looking for me some time ago to work for her on something that would be the kind of job I would write for myself if I were to write one for me in public service. It also comes with a promotion, more money and less commute – in fact it’s ridiculously close to the train line. So that’s a 15 hour return of time to my week as I can read, slush, reply to email etc whilst commuting. It’s a pretty good opportunity.

The problem was, I didn’t look for it and I was enjoying where I was when she came and found me. I like my boss and my team. And I’m still learning how to do the job. And I knew how badly they needed extra hands for the work load and by leaving, I will be leaving more work to less people. For which I feel pretty awful about. So I had been dreading resigning, in fact I almost didn’t even consider the offer in the first place because of this. I am so lucky to have such good work friends – one of whom smacked me around for a bit for not even considering it. Especially as it has the opportunity to apply for permanency which I am yet to have ever been offered (the opportunity to apply for) in the 7 years working where I am. And I was the worst feminist ever, being so apologetic for taking a better offer, I apologised like 5 times as I left the room after resigning. Seems I’ve at least moved to a point where I will take what’s right or better for me but I don’t quite own or feel proud of doing so.

I’m sad too to be leaving my agency and moving on. But the job feels the right fit for me. I’m a little scared by how badly they are needing and wanting the skills I have. I think maybe the job is going to be really hard and I won’t have much supervision to guide some of what I will be doing (not overly different to where I was in my last job but I do know how that then feels). I raised some of the issues that I thought there would be in my taking the job and they have already offered some solutions and I’ve thought of a few ways to deal with things too. So … I guess … I’m actually doing this. I start April 30.