So, I know this is going to sound super sensitive. But that’s actually because, on this issue, I kind of am. And I know it’s probably been intended as harmless fun but sometimes context makes it less so.
There’s a blog post. It’s “hilarious” apparently if you have kids. It’s SO HILARIOUS if you have kids, you feel some need to send it to me. And laugh (at me?) as you do it. No joke, this link has been sent to me *a lot* in the last day and a bit. It’s titled “Are you Ready to have kids” and it’s here, if you live under a rock, or aren’t me and haven’t been bombarded with it.
So. Newsflash. People who don’t have kids *do* actually have an idea of what it entails to have kids. Many people who don’t have kids in fact, don’t have kids for those very reasons listed (and are probably laughing at and not with those who are passing the link along). As a 36 and a lot year old woman, who has not yet had kids, it’s probably quite clear that I don’t do things accidentally and in fact plan quite a lot of my life down to things like contraception. In, in fact, think quite long and hard about things before I go ahead and do them. On top of this, I watch a lot of television – television can be very educational. In fact, often it’s quite hilarious to use items on that list as amusing scenes about having kids. Oh really? You don’t get sleep with a newborn? Fuck me. It’s like I never knew that!
But here’s the reason why I’m supersensitive about it. I do want to have kids. And being ready for it or not is no longer the point for me. I’m going to be 37 very soon. And you know what? My odds of falling pregnant naturally have been halving every ovulation (yup I used a term related to female reproduction, go me) since I was 35. Last October I was given medical advice that if I didn’t get onto it like yesterday, it might already be too late. So “being ready for it”? Fuck off, that’s not part of the luxury I get to have about right now. My window? It’s sliding shut and I’m running towards it in slow motion and kinda crossing my fingers that I get there in time to wedge it open.
But I don’t know how that story is going to unfold yet. I have actually never tried to fall pregnant so I don’t know if I’m good at it/ am capable of doing it. And I’m getting married soon. So … obviously this is part of what’s going on for me right now. And … you know. I don’t know if that’s going to be something that I talk about here or not.
But I’d really really appreciate people not laughing in my face about how hard the reward might be when I don’t know if I’m going to be able to have it yet.