Alisa Krasnostein is World Fantasy Award winning editor and publisher at Twelfth Planet Press and part of the Galactic Suburbia Podcast Team. She was Executive Editor of the review website Aussie Specfic in Focus!.
Currently working on a PhD in Publishing, in her spare time she is a critic, reader, reviewer, runner, environmentalist, knitter, quilter and puppy lover. She is a fulltime Mum.
I’ve been doing research for the Craft Ebook line that I’m working on. I forgot research was fun! I also forgot research is vital, but never mind that now, I got there in the end. Anyway, one of the things I’ve been doing is going back and listening to old episodes of Cast On podcast. I stopped listening for about a year, I suspect some time in the last bit of my relationship with the ex. Brenda took about a year off and so once she was back podcasting and I rediscovered her, I wanted to go back and listen to the episodes I’d missed. And then I was enjoying listening to her so much on my long drives that I started working my way back through older episodes.
The old format of the podcast aimed to sound like how a magazine read so it included news, and announcements, a regular feature called Today’s Sweater, other features and then an essay. The essays started as Brenda’s and then were sometimes were written by listeners and read by guest readers.
A couple of weeks ago now, I was listening to one such essay that made me cry and made me really think about what knitting means to me. A woman wrote about a scarf she’d made. She’d picked it for a long road trip, something complicated enough that she wouldn’t finish it in the first hour or two, but simple enough to not need to pay too much attention. And then she talked about how she’d knitted it on the journey, about the scenic backdrop of the trip and how happy they were and what a great time she’d had. She didn’t finish the scarf on the trip. However, not long after the trip, she fell down the stairs in her house and broke her neck. So immediately after this trip, she’d gone through the worst time in her life. It was a very dark time, she was lucky enough to be able to be operated on and regain her mobility but her recovery was very slow and painful. And she talked about all the days filled with pain and not being able to sit for very long. And how she then thought that knitting her scarf might be something she could do. At first she could only knit one or two stitches at a time and that she couldn’t sit for very long as well. Eventually she gained more strength and the pain lessened and she worked at the scarf and was able to wear it, finished, by the time she was well enough to go on a gentle camping trip again. She wrote about what that scarf, and knitting, meant to her. That project had been with her at the best of times and then kept her company in the worst of times, giving her something to focus on, to mark her recovery and to immerse herself in.
After I finished wiping away tears from the happy story, I thought a lot about the last time I had really thrown myself into knitting and what knitting means to me. My grandmother taught me to knit. I don’t know when. One of my earliest memories is dragging an old round plastic bag, that had contained a small ottoman, around my grandparents’ house, filled with white acrylic yarn and lots of knitting needles. I was about three and I would pretend, though think, I was knitting like my grandmother. I couldn’t have been that much older when she finally taught. I feel like I’ve always known how to knit. I don’t remember not knowing how to. I love to knit and I love doing something that my grandmother taught me. Now that she’s gone, I love that I continue to do something that she taught me and that she loved to do. I love the bringing a part of her with me into the future. My other grandmother taught me how to crochet and I feel the same way about that. And I guess there is something very nurturing and comforting in it.
Some time around when my relationship with my ex (I really need to find some geological reference word to refer to that period of my life. Answers on a postcard) started to head south, I took up knitting in a big way. Like A BIG WAY. I got really engrossed in the online knitting world which was starting to take off. All these personal blogs with gorgeous photos of works in progress and hand dyed yarn, and groovy modern patterns. And etsy. And paypal. And sock yarn clubs. And podcasts. It was a heady, frenetic time. I was in my first serious grown up day job. The ex would spend exorbitant amounts of money on ridiculous things (like private golf club memberships, boating and my favourite, oops I wanted a brand new car. Again) and I figured, why not do the same (on so much smaller an order of magnitude)? I fell into a new fandom, of sorts. I stashed like hand dyed yarn was going out of fashion. I joined sock yarn clubs. I ebayed. I ogled and leered and drank in colour and fibre. And I knitted so much. I would literally stay home on a Saturday night, in preference, to knit. (Sure the choice was usually to go and sit in a cold damp stadium and watch really poor basketball played poorly.) I knitted. A. Lot. I knitted so many babies booties, I’m still gifting them in large piles to every baby that has been born since. And I still have a huge drawer full. I tried my hand at an etsy store, to little success. I even tried stalls at craft fairs. I was in this obsession waist deep. I had knitting on sets of needles all over the place and I was always starting new thing. I was immersed. I must have knit about 30 pairs of adult socks. And scarves. A few shawls. And those gorgeous hot water bottles (that yarn I used was just divine).
It got obsessive. And looking back on it now, I think maybe I understand why. I didn’t really knit like that once I moved out into my own place. A lot of the projects I’m cataloguing now, I started before I moved out and then never really picked back up again. I packed away most of my stash and didn’t look at it til I moved last year. I picked up a new craft – the patchworking – and got into that, but in a much less obsessive way.
It occurs to me now that the knitting was a way of finding love – of surrounding myself with something I associate with someone who always comforted me. Getting involved, no matter how much from the (consumer) sidelines, in the online knitting world was a way of coming home, of being understood, of being wrapped up in a nostalgic love. Because I wasn’t even being overly creative with my knitting. I knit a lot of plain socks and straight scarves, with fabulously colourful yarn. Teaching myself to knit socks was possibly the most adventurous thing I did during that time. And I never got sick of knitting stockinette. I just knit and knit and knit. Like my life depended on it. And maybe it did.
And last night I wandered into the TV room and looked at my bag with my sock yarn club yarn in it, all balled up and ready to go, and I felt that feeling again – of coming home. Of warmth and fondness. Of belonging again. And I guess that’s different to how I feel about patchworking – which is filled with creativity and invention and experimentation. And I actually mentally checked myself when I felt that way – like to be cautious that I don’t fall into that big knitting hole again. Almost a don’t enjoy this too much, kind of thought process. Don’t get consumed. Why not? I wondered? Am I scared of the obsession? Should I not feel at home with my online knitting peeps? Is that so wrong? I realize now, after writing this, that that won’t happen – it can’t happen – because I am in a very different mental space. That it will be ok even if I do enjoy it too much. Because this time, I’m doing it because I love to knit and not because I’m trying to kit over (or out of) a hole.
That said, I still am a *little* bit scared of the siren that is knitting online.
Thanks to those who left feedback on my craft post of anguish. I am terribly behind at answering comments. I took all your advice and packed up and put away the Charm Quilt project. I packed up all the pieces that I had laid out and put them in a ziplock back and made a box just for this project. And that alone made me feel so much better. I’ve got a few pieces of that project still out on my sewing table – a few of the hexagons all pinned and ready to go – and some of the scraps. I’m mostly just mildly contemplating them from a distance. I feel like I could finish them off so they’re still out. But I am also very aware that I might feel completely better if I just packed them all up and put them away for now. Of course as soon as I did this, another little batch of fat eighths I’d ordered from a Jinny Beyer sale as a reward for something I finished came in. I took a photo of them and then popped them in the box as well. I’ll figure out what I’m doing with all that another day.
Tansy says I always have this panic and I always move in cycles. I dunno though – this quilting thing is pretty new. I only really started collecting fabrics just as my relationship with my ex was breaking up. So – oh. What’s that? 5 years ago now. Hmm maybe it’s not that new after all. Maybe I should just chill out about this and let go and let the cycles happen on their own. This forcing business only makes me feel bad anyway. It’s just that I have so many beautiful projects that I want to get to and I also want to actually finish the ones I have started. Anyway. This is not the point of this post. In any case, this time round, I really want to hope to believe that I can somehow be immersed in two crafts at once. Just like you can be immersed in two books at once. Oh. Nevermind.
I took up some very excellent advice from Sim in the comments to my last post. She suggested that I audit my projects. I’ve only partly started this. I’m hoping to have finished it by the end of the week. However, this exercise was very interesting because I found where all my sets of DPNs (double pointed needles, come in sets of 4) were. Yes, they were in various stages of different pairs of socks.
I decided that what I really want to focus on is starting and finishing the socks from the Cookie A’s sock club before the next skein of yarn comes in. So I went in search of the right needles. I found them in a sock project I had stashed in C’s glove box for those times I’m with him and we’re driving somewhere (we live 45 mins to an hour from stuff). I was maybe 25% away from finishing the pair. I’d started them on a couple of days field trip in the last job, oooh what? Last June? Last October?
Yes, well. I pulled out the project and assessed it. It was close to being finished but very quickly, I also discovered that the second sock was a little bit shorter than the first – I’d put the heel in too soon. So I ripped back the half of the gusset and the heel and started over. I was a bit annoyed at that, creating more work etc, but the stripes, they didn’t match and I’d made a point of casting on the second sock exactly at the right point so that they would. And it would only annoy me every time I wore them if I didn’t fix them now. What’s an extra day of work compared to be annoyed every time I wear them? These socks wear really well – they are a commercial self striping sock yarn and about 15% nylon so they machine wash and wear great. The first pair I made with them, something like 8 years ago, still look fantastic.
So in summary, I ripped back the sock to almost halfway, reknit it and finished these off over the weekend. A weekend in which I was out for most of Saturday and did various work things as well. A couple of hours and a new pair of socks. Makes me eye off the other socks in various stages on the needles. How long would it take me to have all new socks before winter? I suspect some of this has come about because I am so used to knitting for other people. I’m not sure why I am like that for knitting but a vast majority of what I have knit I have gifted away. And that sort of taints how you feel about it, I think. I mean, I love knitting and it might be that I am more process than product focused. Thus as long as I am knitting, I am happy. And how many of any one craft thing does one person need? Etc. But at some point, if you never enjoy the spoils of your labour, you must lose enthusiasm. So, whilst I do have a list of projects I want to gift this year, I think I really need (and I think I already had done so?) to set aside this year and craft primarily for myself. You know, til I have too many hats, scarves and socks etc.
Oh look, here’s another topic I have been struggling to pull into a coherent piece. We’re getting married. And I’m over the moon that I am going to marry C. I’m really excited about our wedding day and the life we are planning together. But I have to admit that the planning of the wedding, for me, is an internal struggle between two parts. And as we get deeper into this, it gets more uncomfortable and as such I am getting less and less decisive on things. Which means, I am embarrassed to admit, C is doing much more of the coordination of details than me.
Here’s the thing. There is 12 year old me aka the Hollywood stereotype thinker and there’s 36 year old me – independent woman, feminist, etc. They actually agree far less often than you might think.
12 year old me has always dreamed of the white dress, the veil, being walked down the aisle. The whole kit and caboodle. And in some ways, this would be the really easy option. Open up the Hollywood recipe of how to plan a wedding, follow steps A through W and bazinga you have yourself the white wedding we all dreamed of.
The thing is … I’m 36. And I’m not the wide-eyed innocent swapping her parents’ home for her husband’s, to be wife and mother. I’m really struggling with a lot of the symbology of weddings. And I think it would be really easy to just not think about them and I spose a lot of people don’t. But I started to think about what things mean, as people ask do I want this or that, and I don’t want to be an automaton. I don’t want to do things just because that’s what is expected or because everyone else does. But as soon as you start to think about deeper meanings and symbolism of rituals, it really starts to hurt your brain. So for example, I’m not something “to be given away” – I’m not property and noone owns me and more than that, I already left home some time ago and earn my own keep. I’m not really comfortable with a veil – what’s that about, hiding the bride’s face and all that? And then there’s the dress itself. Can I really, with a straight face, saunter down the aisle in a big white meringue and not look completely over the top? Except, some little part of me still says, in a very tiny voice, but I want to wear the dress! And .. it’s not often you have an occasion to wear a ball gown, so why not? And … but veils are so pretty! And this is a one time chance to wear one. Picking wedding colours, styles and a theme feels so defined, such a statement of “this is who I am/who we are” when really it might just be one aspect of who we are. On the other hand, we’re planning a wedding here and decisions need to be made and things booked and deposits paid. It’s all rather overwhelming.
I blogged before about this: I want our wedding to be meaningful to us and represent who we are and what kind of life we plan to make together. It very much needs to be a blend of the two of us. And for my part, throwing out a lot of the traditions feels right and wrong at the same time – I am a person who loves ritual but at the same time, cannot go along with things that have always been just because they have always been so when they let women down. Which means we have the chance to start from the foundations and build upwards. But I have no idea what that means or what that will eventually look like. Or where to start thinking about that.
That all makes it sound so much more tortured than it is! We had a lot of fun going wedding cake tasting which I might confess I took inspiration from the Gilmore Girls. Oddly though, I got over cake much quicker than I thought I would. We didn’t even eat all the cakes here in this wedding cake taster box! And in the end, it only took a morning of doing the wedding cake circuit to find the cake I wanted and lock it in. Though I maintain I will find an event to plan so I can order and serve the light green cake with Japanese orange blossoms
PS. After I wrote this post, I realised that I want to change the theme of our wedding. C just rolled his eyes. Though it has meant that I spent the weekend creating picture boards of my ideas for the theme and I’m much more excited and feel much more focused and clear on what I think I want.
Monday morning got you down? Check out the latest episode of Galactic Suburbia
Episode 56
In which Alex falls by the wayside and Alisa & Tansy soldier on to talk about awards, Connie Willis, Tina Fey and Chicks Digging Comics. And more comics.
Tansy’s Creature Court books (Power and Majesty, The Shattered City and Reign of Beasts) are now available on the Kindle internationally! Should be available on other platforms too – iBookstore etc. If you see them for sale somewhere in your country please let us know. Fly, my pretties, fly!
What Culture Have we Consumed?Alisa: All About Emily, Connie Willis; Bossypants, Tina Fey; Hunger Games Movie Tansy: Astonishing X-Men, Joss Whedon & John Cassaday; Saucer Country by Paul Cornell, Chicks Dig Comics, edited by Lynne M Thomas & Sigrid Ellis.
We’ll be giving away a copy of Beyond Binary, edited by Brit Mandelo (and featuring a Tansy story). Tweet us with the name of your favourite queer/genderqueer/QLTBG character in SF or fantasy to be in the draw!
Please send feedback to us at galacticsuburbia@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at @galacticsuburbs, check out Galactic Suburbia Podcast on Facebook and don’t forget to leave a review on iTunes if you love us!
WARNING: Spoilers for the books and the movies herein.
Last night, after recording the latest Galactic Suburbia podcast, C and I rushed off to the movies to see The Hunger Games. The darling man that he is, knew I had been looking forward to this movie in particular and had bought Gold Class tickets as a surprise a couple of weeks ago. (really, the marrying him is such a no-brainer). I’d not been to Gold Class down here and was a bit unsure what to expect. It’s a little more expensive but you get a free soft drink and popcorn. As we entered the glass doors for the Lounge, I realised that we were not the only ones seeing a 9pm movie. And in fact, the Gold Glass at Rockingham has a lot more seats. It also has a regular movie goers section in front of the partitioned Gold Class. It was not … as exclusive, shall I say? Also there were a lot of people, which made it noisy. And we got sat next to some *younger* people. I know I am “older” now when I no longer react to over-hyped teenaged/early 20s young men who are laughing and jeering and making fun of people to a) draw attention whilst b) trying to cover their insecurities. I just mostly don’t care about what they think and I want them to be quiet. And get off my lawn.
So you can see I kinda was unimpressed and a little annoyed when the movie started. I don’t know if that impacted on how I experienced the movie. Everybody was given a bowl of popcorn as the movie started and I did like that. Also, Katniss Everdeen is pretty darn impressive – so much so that even those jeering boys were quiet as the tension mounted and I could feel they thought she was quiet the awesome.
The movie. This a review, after all. Normally, I am really forgiving of movie adaptations from books. I don’t expect the movie to be true to the story. I understand a 2 hour movie has much less scope for subplots or large casts of supporting characters. And I don’t mind if chunks of the book get left out. It’s not *all* crucial and it doesn’t *all* need to be included. A movie is not a book. However, I can’t tell if I just loved these books more than most or if my reaction is fair one. But I felt disappointed for much of the movie. I felt disconnected and a little bit robbed of my emotional journey. And I’ve spent the day thinking this through carefully. I didn’t really like or enjoy the movie.
I didn’t mind the production of this film. I imagined people in the districts to be poorer I guess we might see more of this if the second and third books get adapted. After all, we mostly see District 12 in their Sunday best for the Reaping Day. I did feel though that the whole movie felt less glossy and shiny than a Harry Potter. I’m still not sure if maybe it *should* be, given it’s post apocalypse. And I have to also say that about 5 -10 minutes in, I felt very uncomfortable because the opening Reaping Day scenes are a little bit triggering for me (all a bit too close to rounding people up for things and you know how I am with such imagery). C leaned over and reminded me I picked this film and then said we could leave whenever I wanted to. Actually, maybe that’s what I mean about it not being shiny? These scenes of the District Square and so on had a very 1940s feel to them.
But there were a lot of things I liked about this movie. The capital is very exciting and futuristic, and the stark contrast to District 12 with colour and fashion and design was really well done. Haymmich is played brilliantly by Woody Harrelson. I think he was an excellent choice of casting. The entry scene into the arena on chariots was done well as was the Girl on Fire schtick. And that whole prep prior to the game was also well captured. I found the TV hosts a little grating because they weren’t charismatic enough but at the same time you could see they served as the narrator at points (to explain stuff for info dump, not done particularly savvy) and also were a little bit of a window into the All is Not Well in the Capital foreshadowing.
But really, ultimately, I was disappointed with the storytelling from the time they entered the arena onwards. Too much was cut from this part of the story or did not translate into movie. We see very little of Peeta from when Katniss takes off once the game starts and it means that we lose the paranoid elements of the experience of being in the game – we lose Katniss’s flipping back and forwards with deciding whether he is genuine and loves her or whether he is playing her. And because this is lost, all we get is him shaking his head at her when they are on the dais waiting for the countdown, him as part of that first group of the Careers hunting her down and the trackerjacks and then her going to find him once the rules changed.
There is no motivation or explanation given for why Katniss decides to go find Peeta at this point. Why would she want to save him? We really didn’t get the sense in the movie that she didn’t want to have to kill him, that was dropped much earlier on. And so her last interaction with him is the group coming to hunt her and her setting the wasps on him. More happens between them in the book so that its obvious she would drop everything to find him. And from memory, there was something more in the book between them after the wasps and before the rule change that makes it clear that if nothing else, they are on the same side and would make a natural team. Also that she knows he is injured. In the book there are more opportunities for them to interact in the game so as to start laying down the beginning of a love story for the Hunger Games audience to engage with and make her more of an asset for the producers of the show to keep her and them in. And to in fact change the rules as a response to that. Whereas in the movie, she just ups and somehow knows where to find him and then is all kissy kissy. I was left in the cinema not buying it.
I felt ultimately that the complexity of the relationship between Peeta and Katniss is sacrificed in the movie and so it was a very bland and unsatisfying watch. Katniss’s feelings were far more complex and they make the ending more poignant (and moreish). So too, I don’t feel we got a good sense of Peeta, though possibly because them being a team inside the arena was much shorter screen time than it is in the book. You really felt at the end of the book sympathy for both Katniss because she was playing up the story to survive, yet also really values Peeta as at least a friend, her feelings on him still budding and so hurt that she had hurt him, and also for Peeta who so completely loves her and actually wanted to be picked in order to help her survive, at his own expense, and also knows that his love is helpless.
That said. And I will go back and reread the books now because I felt cheated on the ride. I did still really enjoy a lot of aspects of what makes The Hunger Games awesome. I was struck by how lovely it was to see a heroine dressed up in hero garb – in this case the unitard of the training gear – and still *look* like a woman. She’s tough, there’s no doubt, and there were some great scenes of her fighting guys, and the climatic scene on top of the cornucopia where Peeta gives her a hoist up and then she turns round and pulls him up after her. She clearly was strong and equal physically, which is refreshing to see on the movie screen. She doesn’t just fight the girls and she doesn’t only accept help from the boys. But they never took away from her her womanness. If I can say that. Whether in hunting gear or the ball gown, she was still always feminine. And one of her strongest traits, and I think assets, was her maternal instincts. So used to mothering Prim, she mothers Rue – which is heartbreaking. Oh Rue!! And in turn, Rue is a very strong and important ally. And she cares for Peeta when he was hurt. And then even in the final moment, when she shoots the final dude, I forget his name? and he falls off to the wolves below, her “humanity” is to put him down, with that last final arrow. She is tough and a hunter and survivor, but she is still loving and full of compassion and care. I liked the way they were portrayed.
So, in all. I dunno. It felt like a let down. Am I too much of a fan of The Hunger Games? Did it get in the way of my watching? C had not read the books and said he felt it hung together quite well. He felt less disappointed than me.
I’m going to spend the weekend immersed in the books again. Send tissues and chocolate.
EDIT TO ADD: I realised I hadn’t touched on the depiction of violence in the movie and I wanted to mention it. There are dead bodies of kids. There is some you know, killing of kids. A lot of it is offscreen, as it is in the book. And a lot of the rest of it is filmed in such a way that you can’t really see what’s happening – shaky and unfocussed cam etc. That said, there is no escaping Rue’s death. And its horrible and poignant. And I cried lots.
Well it’s week 6 of this 12 week program I’m on – almost half way through. Already? It’s hard to believe actually. I thought it would be so much harder – to give up some of my much loved habits and I thought it would be harder to drag myself up off the couch. Which is not to say that there haven’t been skipped workout sessions or off program meals but they have been the exception rather than the norm. I’ve never stayed on a program this long before. I am the queen of the two week flunk out, to be truthful.
It’s weird to know that I really can go 6 weeks without a packet of lollies and not only not die but not even really miss them. Sure I get the odd craving but it turns out cravings are fleeting. Huh. There are a few things that I have downshifted calories and servings sizes so as to not have to give them up completely. I might really think the world without chocolate is not worthwhile so I’ve shifted to a sugar free dark chocolate which, to be honest, is really not that bad. And we’re also allowed a brand of low fat ice-creams so I’ve not really gone ice-cream-free either.
That said, there have been two main reasons for stopping myself from throwing it out the window and diving into the mini fun size choccie bars flopped seductively in their charity box just 10 steps down from my office cubicle. The first is that I really have worked hard to get to here, both physically and mentally, and I don’t want to undo that and that leads into the second, which is, I suspect that if I had one taste, just one, I wouldn’t be able to stop again. I’d be back into those foods having a hold over me and I’d be back where I started. If I could have just one chocolate bar and stop. And then not have another for a while, I’d be ok. And the goal is to get to that place. I just think it’s a little while off from here still.
So, where am I at? Cause as it turns out, it isn’t just about losing weight.
I’ve lost 5 kg in 5 weeks, which I’m quite happy with. My 12 week goal was to lose half a kilo a week (6kg) and I almost completed that in the first third of the program. I have had to review my goals (which is apparently what you are supposed to do and not just me shifting the goalposts) and now am aiming to lose 12 kg by the end.
We’re eating a lot more healthily and consistently than we were before. We clean out the fridge at the end of every week because we need to make room for the new week’s food plan. I noticed this weekend that we threw out a lot less moldy fruit and veggies and that we had almost no leftovers from cooked meals in the fridge at all. And what went in were almost all fresh, unprocessed groceries. And lots and lots of colour.
On top of this, I’ve started taking a nighttime multivitamin which is supposed to promote rest and repair for your body. I’m really really crap at remembering to take multivitamins in the morning but a nighttime one suits me perfectly and I’ve been really consistent about this.
So the sum of all these things is that I am sleeping better than I have done in years. In YEARS! Yes I also gave up espresso coffee. And I’m exercising a lot more than I was before. And OMG sleeeeep. I know that’s the thing people with children tease you about but I have never ever been a good sleeper so being able to sleep through the whole night without waking up 6 times? Divine! And new for me. And you know what else? I wake up feel rested. RESTED! It’s like a whole new body. Every day. And therefore, unsurprisingly, my Crohn’s is really settling down. I’ve found the nutrition plan has a lot more gluten in it than I would ordinarily eat. We’ve sort of tried the food as is to get a feel for it but this week I am switching things out to replace, especially bread, with gluten free options. I’ll be interested to see how this plays out.
And exercise. OMG exercise. I have a love/hate relationship with it. It’s always been this way for me – putting on the clothes (to be fair, more so when it was those thick ballet stockings with the seam you had to have perfectly straight) is always the hardest part for me and sometimes can be the stumbling block I cannot climb. I am enjoying seeing myself get fitter and stronger. I’m enjoying being able to do more and recover faster. Today I ran all the way down to the sports complex and back and I can’t believe how comfortably I did that (in 3 min/2mn run/walk blocks). I’m getting the endorphin rush that makes it all worthwhile. And I’m also really aware of all the studies that show how exercise can alleviate depression and Crohn’s symptoms.
I’m also *moving* around and strengthening core muscles! I’m suddenly aware of how many friends of mine suffer from RSI and it occurred to me that whilst I am not a writer, I still spend a lot of time at a desk and then further hours hunched over a laptop. It might be prudent for me to be proactive about preventing injuries. I’ve noticed since about the first week of this program that my headaches have gone – I used to pretty much have constant headaches and now I know, because I *remember* them, that I have had only 3 in the past 6 weeks. Not only that but my neck issues seem to have eased up as well. And you know, physios and doctors tell you that exercise will help but you kinda look at them and think something FREE will fix this? Come on! Yeah it turns out getting off your arse and moving around a bit is good for you. Who knew?
I’m only 6 weeks in. I have to make it another 6 weeks and then beyond. And I don’t know how I will go yet. But I have started to get really (more) cynical about a bunch of things in modern life. All these things that are supposed to be convenient and help you save time but really make you fat and lazy and cost you money and then you have to pay more money to get thin and moving and so on. You really have to wonder what kinds of mugs we are, just lapping up all the cola and fries we can get whilst flicking the channels on the remote.
Apologies for this and the next couple of posts I’m going to make. They’re a bit of a whinge and a self kicking but I feel like I need to get them down here before I can move beyond them. Not talking or writing about it is becoming a block and not helping with the working to move past it.
It’s not surprising given how I feel – frustrated and drowning – that I’m not getting much done on my craft projects. And that frustrates me even more – craft is my outlet. But not being able to face crafting? Makes me even sadder. I noticed that what I have been able to do is more of the scrap quilt. And worse, I noticed I was doing it with almost an obsessive quality. And … well … this is not a project that is going to have a quick end date which means there is no quick payoff or enjoyment to dedicating myself to it. I’m not even really getting scraps tidied up and reduced because there are just *so many* of them. And it’s an example of how I so easily get sidetracked and how I do it as an avoidance technique.
Once I identified this, I realised it was because I was stuck pairing the above triangles for my charm quilt project. So I spread them all out on the table, as you can see, to just, face up to it and start making hexagons. Mm.. I have a lot of charm pieces. And they don’t match. I managed to pull maybe 8 hexagons (6 triangles in each) out of these stacks last weekend. And then I just got kinda depressed with the damn project. I can’t make those damn pieces match. And … *deep breath* I kinda hate how the project is turning out. Here is just a small part of the pieced quilt top so far. I just. It’s not really doing anything for me. It’s not really going where I wanted it to go. And I can’t tell if this is just deep-into-project-fatigue or my general ennui or if it totally sucks. And none of these are really helping with the getting on with working on, and enjoying making, the quilt.
So that’s not really going very well. And neither is the rest of it. I was really inspired and loving the craft projects I had on the go. And the point of having the spare bed in the craft room was to have it as a working space to piece quilt tops and get them to the finished stage this year. This is how the bed looks at the moment – and this is after I cleared all the clean laundry off it and put that away. I can see 6 separate projects there in various levels of disarray and there is at least one more to the right of that box. Nothing about this inspires creativity.
AND. Course of course there is an And. I’ve been researching for the craft ebook project and listening to a lot of back episodes of Cast On podcast (more about the VJJ project later). And I am starting to miss my knitting. I have this terror of switching crafts – I’m sure I felt it when knitting about moving into quilting and now that I am here, ensconced in quilting, I don’t want to get absorbed back into knitting and abandon all these projects. But as much as I am kinda feeling I’d like to get back into knitting, or figuring out how to knit and sew at the same points in my time-space continuum, I think I’d like to try a sweater. I’ve never knit a jumper before. Which is not really 100% true – I have a kimono jacket which has been on the needles, possibly since the ex and I split. And this not finished. I’ve never embarked on a large knitted project and I’m kinda tempted. But at the same time, I feel like I need to finish the many many WIPs I have on needles about the place. And what’s stopping me? Not knowing where I was up to on most of them.
Can you say it with me now? AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I am so struggling to keep a daily blog. I can’t even express how frustrating I find this one thing. I’ve been blogging for longer than any of the other things that I do. I started my first blog, back in the days of Diaryland (yes, I am *that* old), to make sure that there was some point in my day, every day, that I sat down and wrote something. So it’s really sad for me to turn around at the end of another week and see that I didn’t get time to sit down and write something.
And it’s also frustrating to me that I am still grappling with what does and does not feel appropriate to post about. It used to be that everything in my life was fair game. And I posted in a no holds barred way. And maybe that became a bit of a train wreck at some points. I made and lost friends over some of the posts. But it felt a lot less restrictive. These days, even though they aren’t really directly linked, I am still the public face for my press and that’s deeply important to me.
Actually, I do have a few things I want to sit down and write about and I hope I will start to get on top of things so that I can sit down and … write again. Because that’s the other thing giving me great frustrating these days – time. And my lack of it. I’m desperately frustrated at the moment – drowning and drowning in my frustration about the drowning. And I guess more than a little frustrated at my current lack of being able to do something about it. There are a few things going on in the background but none of them are guaranteed at the moment. And so I am left with constantly feeling like no matter how hard I work, I have barely taken a chunk out of the to do pile. I worked solidly yesterday all day, even waking up a bit early for me for a Sunday, and still barely scraped the surface. It’s a very very upsetting thing to see where it is you want to go, and the path you need to take but a lack in the funds and time to actually do it. And if that is why I ultimately fail, I will be heartbroken about it, I think.
I hope this malaise is really just the dark before the dawn. I do have things in motion to deal with some of these things. I’ve had to admit that I really am going to have to delegate if I want to get as much as I want done. There is really only so much work that one person can do in a week. I’ve been so lucky to have Terri come on board to pick up Publicity and Promotions for me. It’s such a crucial aspect and yet so easy to not be on top of as you grapple to meet print deadlines and editing and so on. We had a really productive 3 hour(!) meeting a couple of weeks ago now and have so many ideas and tasks to develop. I’m also hoping t oset up some new interns who are coming on board. We really do have some cool projects under development, and I can’t wait to start making progress on them.
Thanks everyone for your responses to yesterday’s vox pop. I’m going to tally all the responses later because I think there were some interesting things in it.
Meanwhile. Today the Aurealis Award shortlist came out and I’m delighted to see the Twelve Planets series get a few nods. Namely, Bad Power by Deborah Biancotti, Nightsiders by Sue Isle and Love and Romanpunk by Tansy Rayner Roberts are all shortlisted for Best Collection. I’m so very proud of these three books. Additional nods came in the Young Adult category where both “Nation of the Night” (Nightsiders) and “The Patrician” (Love and Romanpunk) also got shortlisted.
Huge congratulations to all the other shortlisters. The full list is over at Tehani’s blog if you’re interested.
Which pauses me to ask you, when was the last time you bought an Australian novel? Answers in the comments box, just as a fun exercise. I mean, I’m in the process of buying Australian novels to publish but it’s an interesting question. As I looked round to see what I have just recently bought and when I last bought an Aussie novel, I guess we bought Tansy’s Reign of Beasts last month in February. And before that, maybe The Courier’s New Bicycle? at Xmas/New Year? Not too bad really. But if I was to go back before that … probably the last time I was at Crow’s Books and it was raining that day and I still worked at my old job.
So, how about you? (Bearing in mind you’re probably doing the AWW 2012 challenge, right? :P)
Warning: I talk about food issues and weight in this post.
So I’m at Week 5 of the 12 Week Body Transformation. Weigh in is Wednesday but I’m on track to lose another 1kg+ which pushes me below my first round number milestone. The program promises to be more than just a diet and exercise regime, promoting itself as a life transformer, part of the outcome being the weight loss and the other part, changing the way you think and behave. At Week 5, I think I really can see some of those changes coming through. And it’s required some fairly big mindshifts as well as some soulsearching and thought self policing. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate what’s changed and what kind of ride this is.
My issues with food are complex and not really something to go into here. But they are separate to issues with body image. Which adds to the complexity. My inner monologue is almost constantly negative. And I tend to use food to fix all that ails me – feel down? feel anxious or angry? feel depressed? want comfort? celebrating a win? Is it a day ending in y? All get a liberal serve of food to remedy. On top of that, I am addicted, I think, to certain foods. Maybe that’s a cop out but that’s how it feels. Food is my drug of choice – lollies and chocolate and icecream to be specific. And muffins and pastries and desserts and and and. Add to that that the exercise thing had kinda fallen by the wayside, the whole OMG the momentum required to put on shoes let alone leave the house!
And you’re not gonna overcome that kind of stuff in a day or a week or even in 12 weeks. And the thought of never going back ever again, still doesn’t feel quite real so I know I have a long way to go. But hey, today when I was hanging out with Jonathan for lunch, I happily chose a salad, considered it a “meal” and enjoyed it. There’s hope.
I’ve actually really enjoyed the nutrition side of this program. To be fair, C has taken on the shopping and cooking for it which is a major deal. I would likely not have been remotely as successful if I had been doing the food stuff on my own. And I think the food is far more interesting and exciting than what I was eating – especially for breakfasts and lunches during the week. So that already makes this hardly a chore. And now, 5 weeks away from bags of lollies and licorice and blocks of chocolate, I can look at it a lot more from the outside looking in and deconstruct a lot of it. Some of which I want to talk about below. But that said, I know that if I were to even taste some of those things, I would be right back there scoffing a bag in a blink and be hooked again. I hope in the future to have a more balanced and healthy relationship with these foods.
The exercise on the other hand has been more of a struggle. You have to complete 6 workouts a week and I find that really hard. I’m juggling so much else in my week sometimes I just keel over. But one of the exercises before the program started was to write down all the excuses you use to avoid doing exercise (or related to food) and you know … I still catch myself trying to fob them off. Like … if you’re injured, that’s fine but you can work around that and still exercise. For me, sometimes my Crohn’s is worse than other days and doing crunches is so not the best thing for it. But now I know that I can just skip the crunches and do something else in the session rather than not exercise at all because I “feel sick”. Big revelation. Also, for me, I tend to find time by jettisoning exercise off first. Now, I’ve discovered I can reorganise my day, perhaps by several hours ahead so I still get in the exercise as well as all the other commitments. I’m still not doing great at this one – I am so overcommitted. And I’m becoming that person I hate – who is too busy to get to things or to answer emails promptly or to prepare ahead of time. I’m working on this one (commitments) and it should be better soon. But I discovered something really important. I had been describing myself as not an active person, or not someone who enjoys exercise. But actually – I do! And I’d forgotten. I’ve had so may moments of flashbacks to when I used to dance and these have reminded me of how exercise and pushing myself to my limits felt back then. And how much I enjoyed that. It’s been really nice to get back in touch with the me of 20 years ago. Before things got screwed up. It’s made me have to readjust how I see myself.
So taking some of what I am learning or skilling myself up to help get through the program has really flowed into the rest of my life. I’ve noticed the same kind of internal talk for addressing other things in my life and have taken to using similar techniques to deal with that. It’s slow and it requires constant awareness of my inner talk and in changing that around but I think I’m making inroads.
I gave a talk on the weekend and I felt that it went terribly. I didn’t feel comfortable up at the front, I hadn’t prepared enough so I ended up reading my prepared notes instead of talking off the cuff, I felt nervous and sounded so and I stammered a bit. I was pretty down about it. At the end of the day several people came over to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk, how it had made them think and so on. But I walked away still saying to myself I’d screwed up and it was a shit presentation. But over the rest of the day, I started to turn the talk on myself – how could I ignore the several people who said differently to how I felt? Why would I value my own self destructive talk over outside of me evidence to the contrary. Maybe all the things I thought about how I went were true but maybe the material I presented overcame that?
And so now I’m looking at tackling two issues I’d like to get straight. One is that I’m having trouble motivating myself to get (more) stuff down (I know I know but …). Back in the postgrad days I used to have a list system that kicked arse – I would write a serious list 0f 10 big deal things I wanted to achieve for that month and then I would divide each down into the exact single tasks or actions it would take to get that big thing done. And then I would give myself a red tick each time I got a task done. A tally at the end of the month for red ticks would determine if or what kind of reward I would get. I have a feeling at the time I mostly was getting stuff from the Body Shop but I’d set a dollar limit and could choose. And being close to the tipover into reward would push me to scour the list to find low hanging fruit. I got a lot done and the system really worked for a while.
I’ve been trying to get back to that system but now I have this habit of moving the goal posts. So I’ll say if X, then Y and then when I do X, I’ll say, yeah but that was easy, now you need to also do W for Y. And no rewards ever get doled out. Which defeats the whole purpose.
Add to that, the very real need for me to find other ways to deal with emotions other than placating with food. I’ve actually found a really good technique for dealing with anger or frustration is to action something. Doesn’t have to be related but just *doing something* when you feel helpless or frustrated really makes you feel better, more in control. Plus you get that thing done. It takes a negative and makes it positive. So I’ve been looking for something to help with other emotions. Something that I could also use as rewards for the getting things done requirement. And it turns out, as I’m doing better and better on this program, I actually feel better about myself. And as I told a friend the other day – you nurture what you love. I feel better about myself. I feel great healthwise as we are eating so much healthy, unprocessed foods. Even my hair looks shinier! And I’m happier.
So last week, I decided to do something about this. I decided I needed to get some perspective on what is reward worthy and hopefully recalibrate my own internal feeling about what is a good job well done. I decided to go to two of my favourite shops – The Body Shop and T2 (since I was at the shops already replacing yet another bung laptop charger) and buy in advance a bunch of treats. They varied in size and value, some just little testers of things I wanted to try and others more luxurious. But all things that would require indulgence once obtained. So the reward would be twofold – 1, I get something! and 2. I have to then use it – to relax, to cheer myself up, to feel good about myself, to destress, to take time out etc.
And then I gave the bag of rewards to C to supervise. So someone else with a nonscrewed up barometer of achievements could help me figure out what deserved reward and when. He cracks me up – when I gave him the bag, went through it and then stood up and nodded and said, yes he had his head around what was in there now, and then swept it off somewhere. To be honest, I felt a little scared at that point! Should I have given up that power?
Today I got my first reward – it was delayed from the promised reward fotr preparing and delivering the paid speaking gig I did on the weekend. I was such a pain in the arse preparing for it and I don’t like public speaking. Still, I sucked it up and I got on with it. And my reward was – picture at the top – Strawberry and Cream tea! And this evening, instead of casing the pantry for after dinner shaped things, I sat with my feet in a hot bath with Radox and I sipped my fruity tea! And it was good.
I think right about now is not the right time for me to read fiction about slow apocalypses. (What *is* the plural of apocalypse, anyway? – Buffy) Everytime I look, the US gets scarier and scarier but just incrementally. Here’s this video I just watched about a protest in Virgina against the bill to force ultrasounds prior to abortions. This passed bill is a scaled back version of the original which required the insertion of the ultrasound wand inside a vagina to scan the foetus before an abortion. Last time we all checked, there was a word for that, and it’s four letters, starts with “r” and rhymes with “cape”. Sanctioned by the big men in government. Nice one.
Anyway, the “watered” down version of this bill still treats women like … well I dunno what. Idiots? Children? Malevolent, unfeeling beings who would change their mind if only they *understood* the real magnitude of their decision? Really, if this is who those men think women are, why do they feel ok leaving their innocent children with them all day long while they go out to work? Why do they feel better about forcing women to become parents? If women are *that* heinous, … well, wouldn’t they know no depths for ill intent? Wouldn’t they be exactly the kind of people you wouldn’t wanting raising, shaping and influencing your young?
I might just be me, but I think it’s crueler to force a child into existence and leave it in poverty, homeless, without a meal at night, no warm blankets, a crack habit etc etc. But you know, whatever. Big picture, small minds etc etc.
Anyway. So, it’s unsurprising that you know, women out there, in the world, think this is intolerable. And not only this but other moves afoot in US politics relating to birth control, the denial of it to women, the giving the power to women’s bosses, their *bosses*!, to opt them out of being covered by insurance for contraception and so on and so on (seriously, it is so anger making! and for a whole bunch of reasons, the least of which is, do they not study economics and social reform? that countries productivity and standard of living *improve* when women are educated and have access to birth control??). And these women (and some men) came out to protest in Virginia about that. As is their right. Yo, that’s what democracy looks like:
And here’s the scary thing – that was one of the most peaceful demonstrations I’ve ever seen. If you look closely, the demographic spans all ages, there are young women and older women in the crowd. There’s like, your mum in that crowd. And they are moving to stand in front of the Capitol and voice their dissent, peacefully. As is their right in you know a Free Country, something that particular country has been supposedly bringing to other countries in the world for the last 15 years. And not 3 minutes in, riot police are called in. There are men with machine guns to stop your mum standing there and chanting that she wants her rights, and my rights, to birth control. For heavensake!
Very moving for me was when the crowd chants at the police – who do you serve, who do you protect?
Because there are two things at play here. One the far right weirdo conservative men in government who think women who use birth control are sluts. Which is offensive on so many levels. But there is also something going on with the police in the US right now. Especially when they see a need to intervene on a crowd of people standing around and demonstrating their disagreement with something. Never once did the crowd get angry or rowdy. It’s like now, the police are afraid of the people. Of people on mass.
I dunno, it’s a sad day when you’re representatives prevent you from rocking up to display your disagreement with how they are (not) representing you. Here’s hoping the voice of dissent is loud in the ballot booth later this year.
But something else interests me. About 15 years ago, I saw, I think, Danny Devito (could have been someone else like Al Pacin0 or maybe Sean Penn) who was talking on Oprah about a program he was heading up to supply people, just regular people, with video cameras. And at the time I thought that was like so not a priority surely? And for what? Home videos? But he explained that it was for capturing on the ground what was happening to people. That it would empower people because they could get the word out beyond their borders. And I’ve been watching since then and seen how damn, he was right! as more and more footage comes out from places by handhelds and captured by bystanders. Even the hanging of Saddaam Hussein was leaked that way. Footage from the sinking of the Concordia, and also police brutality and unlawful force used in the occupy protests.
I’m so behind at the moment that I thought I had written some posts about our trip to Melbourne last month. A quick check of my archive tells me that I only composed them in my head.
We went over for my cousin’s engagement party – I’m so happy to be sharing this journey with her, we shall both get married within two months of each other. She had her party first and we went for a long weekend to share her celebration and for a bit of a rest. We had a really great time. C says it was a holiday for ADD people but I think even though we were basically doing things all the time, spending three hours in a bar on Chapel St is hardly taxing!
We stayed on Swanston St which turned out to be a bad idea because they were ripping up the tram lines right in that section for only 48 hours, the only 48 hours we were there. But aside from that, and the trams not running down that street, we were in the perfect location. After a dismal breakfast in the hotel, we spent a lot of the rest of our time in and out of the alleyways finding all kinds of scrumptious things and shopping surprises.
We also hung out a bit at Federation Square and found some awesome yarn bombing out side of the Starbucks right there!
I was really impress by a few overtly environmentally friendly initiatives and actions that I saw about the city. The first was this bike one – you can hire a bike, ride it about and then leave it at another station – and there are stations all about the CBD. I thought this was really really cool.
I also noted giant signs talking about the water restrictions. Though we have similar restrictions in Perth, they aren’t actually really talked about, like this:
And, just cause it amuses, Batman Av:
During one of the first shopping outings, we found Tansy’s new book Reign of Beasts in Dymocks on Collins St. And bought a copy! C of course had finished it by the time we arrived back in Perth. I am proud to say that I finished Power and Majesty on the trip.
I scored a new pair of shoes from somebody who forgot to mention I needed to wear (and thus bring) closed shoes to the taping of The Project. C had seen a live taping of the show last time he was in Melbourne and was keen to go along again. It was raining a lot that evening and we headed down to the Channel 10 offices. We were early and needed to by shoes and after that we took shelter in a lovely bar and drank cocktails and ate Mars Bar cheesecake. We headed back to the offices at the appointed time and it was all very TV-ish which was a lot of fun. They gave us lots of lollies, I guess to hype us up and we were taught to clap to sound like we were more people, and to shout and laugh as well. We were hustled into the show and sat and watched the episode go live to air. It was a bit nervewracking knowing you HAD to laugh at the jokes but it was all very interesting and new.
Afterwards we headed back to the Cabinet Bar for some drinks and a bite to eat. And watched a couple on a blind date.
On the Monday, before we headed home, we wandered down to Southbank, contemplated seeing a movie, and then had a lovely secluded lunch on this balcony overlooking the water instead. The food was divine.
I dragged C down to the restaurant that sits under one of the pylons to a bridge across the river there:
And then we headed back to try what, we were told by Narrelle Harris, was The Most pretentious coffee in all of Melbourme. We drank a lot of coffee (I mostly drank decaf apart from this one) but apparently this was the most snobbish. We’re engineers and interested in mechanics. I though, am also a coffee snob.
We drank our coffee over a very long and enjoyable conversation with Narrelle, who met up with us there. It was really lovely to catch up with her and of course there were lots of stories and laughter. Interestingly, this coffee, which they describe as being more like a tea than a coffee, was unbelievably gentle on my stomach, when normally a black espresso would not have been so.
And I promised on Facebook a picture of the puppy when we got home – he is normally white, but shown here to be dusty from the red dust at the farm he hung out on whilst we were away.
Actually, I’m starting to feel like a real slob – really I’m a neat person!!! – as I take these photos one by one around my house. I mean, I’m not going to be showing you the neat bits and I’m worried you’ll get the wrong idea about me!
Still … we did a lot of unfucking today. Sadly we got held up by discovering a few things at the back of the cupboards. So the only before and after shots I have from today are the ones below. The rest is in a state of progress, to be finished tomorrow before my parents drop by!
We did though start putting our engagement presents away – I’ve been feeling bad about doing that til we finish writing all our thank you cards. C has a different take on that. But either way, it was definitely getting in the way and we need space for people to sit down. So we went through them and I reread all the cards and took things out of boxes.
The top of the fridge was mostly a man and puppy zone:
Now it’s turned into a great place for the beautiful cookbooks we got as presents!
I’m not allowed to throw anything out tomorrow as our bin is full again after being emptied on Friday. Still so much more to do!
We worked on the 20/10 – 20 minutes unfucking, 10 minutes break and I managed to get through some unpleasant/less fun sewing things and watched the whole season of Episodes – which I kinda liked, not awesome but a fun look at making a TV show from the side of English writers in Hollywood. I also started Fresh Meat – a UK drama about freshers who move into a uni share house. I quite like it.
There’s a bunch of awards open at the moment for nominations so I’ve finally sat down and checked word counts and so on for fiction I published in 2011.
Here is the breakdown:
Twelfth Planet Press 2011
Above/Below by Stephanie Campisi/Ben Peek
2 novellas, one book, both Science Fiction.
Stephanie Campisi is eligible for Chronos Awards.
Considered short stories by Chronos Awards.
Both novellas by Hugos rules.
Both are eligible in the novelette and novella Ditmar category.
Nightsiders by Sue Isle
Sue Isle is eligible for Tin Ducks.
Collected work
“Nation of the Night”, “The Painted Girl” and “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” – short stories by Tin Ducks rules.
“Nation of the Night” and “The Painted Girl” – novelettes and “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” – short story by Hugos rules.
“Nation of the Night” and “The Painted Girl” – eligible in the novelette and novella Ditmar category. “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” is eligible in the short story Ditmar category.
Love and Romanpunk by Tansy Rayner Roberts
Collected work
“Julia Aggrippina” – novelette and “The Patrician”, “Last of the Romanpunks” and “Lamia Victoriana” – short stories by Hugos and Ditmars rules
All are short stories by World Fantasy Award rules
Thief of Lives by Lucy Sussex
Lucy Sussex is eligible for Chronos Awards
Collected work – eligible for Long Fiction for Chronos Awards
“Alchemy” and “Thief of Lives” – both considered short fiction by Chronos Awards
“Thief of Lives” – novelette and “Alchemy” – short story by Hugos and Ditmars rules
“Thief of Lives” – novella and “Alchemy” – short story by World Fantasy Award rules
Lucy Sussex is also eligible for the Sir Julius Vogel Awards
Bad Power by Deborah Biancotti
Collected work
“Cross that Bridge” – novelette and “Bad Power”, “Web of Lies”, “Palming the Lady”, “Shades of Grey” – short stories by Hugo and Ditmars rules
All are short stories by World Fantasy Award rules
Amanda Rainey designed the covers and internal layout for all five titles and is from WA.
As for Fan Categories:
Galactic Suburbia (Alex, Tansy and Alisa, Produced by Andrew Finch) – Alex is from Vic, I’m from WA.
Live and Sassy (Jonathan and Alisa) I especially want to point at Episode 2 – Live and Sassy with Alan Beatts. Jonathan and Alisa are both from WA.
Galactic Chat (Tansy, Alisa and Sean, Produced by Andrew Finch) is eligible for Tin Ducks as Alisa is from WA. We interviewed Ian Irvine, Ben Peek, Kelley Armstrong, Deborah Biancotti, Bevan McGuiness, Kirstyn McDermott, Glenda Larke, Tansy Rayner Roberts and Marianne de Pierres.
ASif - Aussie Specfic in Focus (Alisa and Tehani) and ASif Reviewers include Alex Pierce (Vic), Jason Nahrung (Vic), Lorraine Cormack, Tehani Wessely (WA in 2011), Guy Salvidge (WA), Gillian Polack, Mitenae (WA), Ross Murray, Stephanie Gunn (WA) and Tansy Rayner Roberts, among others.
Almost didn’t get a post in tonight. Almost didn’t get anything unfucked either. But then I thought that actually there weren’t that many dishes there tonight – C had caught up on them from last night – so it would be good to maintain rather than to have to attack from behind.
So – after work today I did a cardio workout, made dinner, read the latest issue of Locus, did the dishes and one load of laundry.
Clear bench:
(that’s C getting a glass of juice and temporarily putting things on the bench mid-shot)
Now I have some TPP stuff or some Last Short Story reading to get done before bedtime (in 5 mins) – arrrgh!
Entries
I’ve been doing research for the Craft Ebook line that I’m working on. I forgot research was fun! I also forgot research is vital, but never mind that now, I got there in the end. Anyway, one of the things I’ve been doing is going back and listening to old episodes of Cast On podcast. I stopped listening for about a year, I suspect some time in the last bit of my relationship with the ex. Brenda took about a year off and so once she was back podcasting and I rediscovered her, I wanted to go back and listen to the episodes I’d missed. And then I was enjoying listening to her so much on my long drives that I started working my way back through older episodes.
