Champagne and Socks

Warning: I talk about food issues and weight in this post.

So I’m at Week 5 of the 12 Week Body Transformation. Weigh in is Wednesday but I’m on track to lose another 1kg+ which pushes me below my first round number milestone. The program promises to be more than just a diet and exercise regime, promoting itself as a life transformer, part of the outcome being the weight loss and the other part, changing the way you think and behave. At Week 5, I think I really can see some of those changes coming through. And it’s required some fairly big mindshifts as well as some soulsearching and thought self policing. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate what’s changed and what kind of ride this is.

My issues with food are complex and not really something to go into here. But they are separate to issues with body image. Which adds to the complexity. My inner monologue is almost constantly negative. And I tend to use food to fix all that ails me – feel down? feel anxious or angry? feel depressed? want comfort? celebrating a win? Is it a day ending in y? All get a liberal serve of food to remedy. On top of that, I am addicted, I think, to certain foods. Maybe that’s a cop out but that’s how it feels. Food is my drug of choice – lollies and chocolate and icecream to be specific. And muffins and pastries and desserts and and and. Add to that that the exercise thing had kinda fallen by the wayside, the whole OMG the momentum required to put on shoes let alone leave the house!

And you’re not gonna overcome that kind of stuff in a day or a week or even in 12 weeks. And the thought of never going back ever again, still doesn’t feel quite real so I know I have a long way to go. But hey, today when I was hanging out with Jonathan for lunch, I happily chose a salad, considered it a “meal” and enjoyed it. There’s hope.

I’ve actually really enjoyed the nutrition side of this program. To be fair, C has taken on the shopping and cooking for it which is a major deal. I would likely not have been remotely as successful if I had been doing the food stuff on my own. And I think the food is far more interesting and exciting than what I was eating  – especially for breakfasts and lunches during the week. So that already makes this hardly a chore. And now, 5 weeks away from bags of lollies and licorice and blocks of chocolate, I can look at it a lot more from the outside looking in and deconstruct a lot of it. Some of which I want to talk about below. But that said, I know that if I were to even taste some of those things, I would be right back there scoffing a bag in a blink and be hooked again. I hope in the future to have a more balanced and healthy relationship with these foods.

The exercise on the other hand has been more of a struggle. You have to complete 6 workouts a week and I find that really hard. I’m juggling so much else in my week sometimes I just keel over. But one of the exercises before the program started was to write down all the excuses you use to avoid doing exercise (or related to food) and you know … I still catch myself trying to fob them off. Like … if you’re injured, that’s fine but you can work around that and still exercise. For me, sometimes my Crohn’s is worse than other days and doing crunches is so not the best thing for it. But now I know that I can just skip the crunches and do something else in the session rather than not exercise at all because I “feel sick”. Big revelation. Also, for me, I tend to find time by jettisoning exercise off first. Now, I’ve discovered I can reorganise my day, perhaps by several hours ahead so I still get in the exercise as well as all the other commitments. I’m still not doing great at this one – I am so overcommitted. And I’m becoming that person I hate – who is too busy to get to things or to answer emails promptly or to prepare ahead of time. I’m working on this one (commitments) and it should be better soon. But I discovered something really important. I had been describing myself as not an active person, or not someone who enjoys exercise. But actually – I do! And I’d forgotten. I’ve had so may moments of flashbacks to when I used to dance and these have reminded me of how exercise and pushing myself to my limits felt back then. And how much I enjoyed that. It’s been really nice to get back in touch with the me of 20 years ago. Before things got screwed up. It’s made me have to readjust how I see myself.

So taking some of what I am learning or skilling myself up to help get through the program has really flowed into the rest of my life. I’ve noticed the same kind of internal talk for addressing other things in my life and have taken to using similar techniques to deal with that. It’s slow and it requires constant awareness of my inner talk and in changing that around but I think I’m making inroads.

I gave a talk on the weekend and I felt that it went terribly. I didn’t feel comfortable up at the front, I hadn’t prepared enough so I ended up reading my prepared notes instead of talking off the cuff, I felt nervous and sounded so and I stammered a bit. I was pretty down about it. At the end of the day several people came over to tell me how much they enjoyed my talk, how it had made them think and so on. But I walked away still saying to myself I’d screwed up and it was a shit presentation. But over the rest of the day, I started to turn the talk on myself – how could I ignore the several people who said differently to how I felt? Why would I value my own self destructive talk over outside of me evidence to the contrary. Maybe all the things I thought about how I went were true but maybe the material I presented overcame that?

And so now I’m looking at tackling two issues I’d like to get straight. One is that I’m having trouble motivating myself to get (more) stuff down (I know I know but …). Back in the postgrad days I used to have a list system that kicked arse – I would write a serious list 0f 10 big deal things I wanted to achieve for that month and then I would divide each down into the exact single tasks or actions it would take to get that big thing done. And then I would give myself a red tick each time I got a task done. A tally at the end of the month for red ticks would determine if or what kind of reward I would get. I have a feeling at the time I mostly was getting stuff from the Body Shop but I’d set a dollar limit and could choose. And being close to the tipover into reward would push me to scour the list to find low hanging fruit. I got a lot done and the system really worked for a while.

I’ve been trying to get back to that system but now I have this habit of moving the goal posts. So I’ll say if X, then Y and then when I do X, I’ll say, yeah but that was easy, now you need to also do W for Y. And no rewards ever get doled out. Which defeats the whole purpose.

Add to that, the very real need for me to find other ways to deal with emotions other than placating with food. I’ve actually found a really good technique for dealing with anger or frustration is to action something. Doesn’t have to be related but just *doing something* when you feel helpless or frustrated really makes you feel better, more in control. Plus you get that thing done. It takes a negative and makes it positive. So I’ve been looking for something to help with other emotions. Something that I could also use as rewards for the getting things done requirement. And it turns out, as I’m doing better and better on this program, I actually feel better about myself. And as I told a friend the other day – you nurture what you love. I feel better about myself. I feel great healthwise as we are eating so much healthy, unprocessed foods. Even my hair looks shinier! And I’m happier.

So last week, I decided to do something about this. I decided I needed to get some perspective on what is reward worthy and hopefully recalibrate my own internal feeling about what is a good job well done. I decided to go to two of my favourite shops – The Body Shop and T2 (since I was at the shops already replacing yet another bung laptop charger) and buy in advance a bunch of treats. They varied in size and value, some just little testers of things I wanted to try and others more luxurious. But all things that would require indulgence once obtained. So the reward would be twofold – 1, I get something! and 2. I have to then use it – to relax, to cheer myself up, to feel good about myself, to destress, to take time out etc.

And then I gave the bag of rewards to C to supervise. So someone else with a nonscrewed up barometer of achievements could help me figure out what deserved reward and when. He cracks me up – when I gave him the bag, went through it and then stood up and nodded and said, yes he had his head around what was in there now, and then swept it off somewhere. To be honest, I felt a little scared at that point! Should I have given up that power?

Today I got my first reward – it was delayed from the promised reward fotr preparing and delivering the paid speaking gig I did on the weekend. I was such a pain in the arse preparing for it and I don’t like public speaking. Still, I sucked it up and I got on with it. And my reward was – picture at the top – Strawberry and Cream tea! And this evening, instead of casing the pantry for after dinner shaped things, I sat with my feet in a hot bath with Radox and I sipped my fruity tea! And it was good.

Tags: health, lessons, life

I think right about now is not the right time for me to read fiction about slow apocalypses. (What *is* the plural of apocalypse, anyway? – Buffy) Everytime I look, the US gets scarier and scarier but just incrementally. Here’s this video I just watched about a protest in Virgina against the bill to force ultrasounds prior to abortions. This passed bill is a scaled back version of the original which required the insertion of the ultrasound wand inside a vagina to scan the foetus before an abortion. Last time we all checked, there was a word for that, and it’s four letters, starts with “r” and rhymes with “cape”. Sanctioned by the big men in government. Nice one.

Anyway, the “watered” down version of this bill still treats women like … well I dunno what. Idiots? Children? Malevolent, unfeeling beings who would change their mind if only they *understood* the real magnitude of their decision? Really, if this is who those men think women are, why do they feel ok leaving their innocent children with them all day long while they go out to work? Why do they feel better about forcing women to become parents? If women are *that* heinous, … well, wouldn’t they know no depths for ill intent? Wouldn’t they be exactly the kind of people you wouldn’t wanting raising, shaping and influencing your young?

I might just be me, but I think it’s crueler to force a child into existence and leave it in poverty, homeless, without a meal at night, no warm blankets, a crack habit etc etc. But you know, whatever. Big picture, small minds etc etc.

Anyway. So, it’s unsurprising that you know, women out there, in the world, think this is intolerable. And not only this but other moves afoot in US politics relating to birth control, the denial of it to women, the giving the power to women’s bosses, their *bosses*!, to opt them out of being covered by insurance for contraception and so on and so on (seriously, it is so anger making! and for a whole bunch of reasons, the least of which is, do they not study economics and social reform? that countries productivity and standard of living *improve* when women are educated and have access to birth control??). And these women (and some men) came out to protest in Virginia about that. As is their right. Yo, that’s what democracy looks like:

And here’s the scary thing  – that was one of the most peaceful demonstrations I’ve ever seen. If you look closely, the demographic spans all ages, there are young women and older women in the crowd. There’s like, your mum in that crowd. And they are moving to stand in front of the Capitol and voice their dissent, peacefully. As is their right in you know a Free Country, something that particular country has been supposedly bringing to other countries in the world for the last 15 years. And not 3 minutes in, riot police are called in. There are men with machine guns to stop your mum standing there and chanting that she wants her rights, and my rights, to birth control. For heavensake!

Very moving for me was when the crowd chants at the police – who do you serve, who do you protect?

Because there are two things at play here. One the far right weirdo conservative men in government who think women who use birth control are sluts. Which is offensive on so many levels. But there is also something going on with the police in the US right now. Especially when they see a need to intervene on a crowd of people standing around and demonstrating their disagreement with something. Never once did the crowd get angry or rowdy. It’s like now, the police are afraid of the people. Of people on mass.

I dunno, it’s a sad day when you’re representatives prevent you from rocking up to display your disagreement with how they are (not) representing you. Here’s hoping the voice of dissent is loud in the ballot booth later this year.

But something else interests me. About 15 years ago, I saw, I think, Danny Devito (could have been someone else like Al Pacin0 or maybe Sean Penn) who was talking on Oprah about a program he was heading up to supply people, just regular people, with video cameras. And at the time I thought that was like so not a priority surely? And for what? Home videos? But he explained that it was for capturing on the ground what was happening to people. That it would empower people because they could get the word out beyond their borders. And I’ve been watching since then and seen how damn, he was right! as more and more footage comes out from places by handhelds and captured by bystanders. Even the hanging of Saddaam Hussein was leaked that way. Footage from the sinking of the Concordia, and also police brutality and unlawful force used in the occupy protests.

I made a couple of additions and corrections to my last post about Twelfth Planet Press award eligibles.

– Stephanie Gunn as WA reviewer at ASif!

– don’t forget our podcast producer Andrew Finch for Galactic Suburbia and Galactic Chat. He is very very patient with us whilst recording!

– Lucy Sussex is eligible for the Sir Julius Vogel Awards which are still open for nominations til March 31.

I’m so behind at the moment that I thought I had written some posts about our trip to Melbourne last month. A quick check of my archive tells me that I only composed them in my head.

We went over for my cousin’s engagement party – I’m so happy to be sharing this journey with her, we shall both get married within two months of each other. She had her party first and we went for a long weekend to share her celebration and for a bit of a rest. We had a really great time. C says it was a holiday for ADD people but I think even though we were basically doing things all the time, spending three hours in a bar on Chapel St is hardly taxing!

We stayed on Swanston St which turned out to be a bad idea because they were ripping up the tram lines right in that section for only 48 hours, the only 48 hours we were there. But aside from that, and the trams not running down that street, we were in the perfect location. After a dismal breakfast in the hotel, we spent a lot of the rest of our time in and out of the alleyways finding all kinds of scrumptious things and shopping surprises.

We also hung out a bit at Federation Square and found some awesome yarn bombing out side of the Starbucks right there!

I was really impress by a few overtly environmentally friendly initiatives and actions that I saw about the city. The first was this bike one – you can hire a bike, ride it about and then leave it at another station – and there are stations all about the CBD. I thought this was really really cool.

I also noted giant signs talking about the water restrictions. Though we have similar restrictions in Perth, they aren’t actually really talked about, like this:

And, just cause it amuses, Batman Av:

During one of the first shopping outings, we found Tansy’s new book Reign of Beasts in Dymocks on Collins St. And bought a copy! C of course had finished it by the time we arrived back in Perth. I am proud to say that I finished Power and Majesty on the trip.

I scored a new pair of shoes from somebody who forgot to mention I needed to wear (and thus bring) closed shoes to the taping of The Project. C had seen a live taping of the show last time he was in Melbourne and was keen to go along again. It was raining a lot that evening and we headed down to the Channel 10 offices. We were early and needed to by shoes and after that we took shelter in a lovely bar and drank cocktails and ate Mars Bar cheesecake. We headed back to the offices at the appointed time and it was all very TV-ish which was a lot of fun. They gave us lots of lollies, I guess to hype us up and we were taught to clap to sound like we were more people, and to shout and laugh as well. We were hustled into the show and sat and watched the episode go live to air. It was a bit nervewracking knowing you HAD to laugh at the jokes but it was all very interesting and new.

Afterwards we headed back to the Cabinet Bar for some drinks and a bite to eat. And watched a couple on a blind date.

On the Monday, before we headed home, we wandered down to Southbank, contemplated seeing a movie, and then had a lovely secluded lunch on this balcony overlooking the water instead. The food was divine.

I dragged C down to the restaurant that sits under one of the pylons to a bridge across the river there:

And then we headed back to try what, we were told by Narrelle Harris, was The Most pretentious coffee in all of Melbourme. We drank a lot of coffee (I mostly drank decaf apart from this one) but apparently this was the most snobbish. We’re engineers and interested in mechanics. I though, am also a coffee snob.

We drank our coffee over a very long and enjoyable conversation with Narrelle, who met up with us there. It was really lovely to catch up with her and of course there were lots of stories and laughter. Interestingly, this coffee, which they describe as being more like a tea than a coffee, was unbelievably gentle on my stomach, when normally a black espresso would not have been so.

And I promised on Facebook a picture of the puppy when we got home – he is normally white, but shown here to be dusty from the red dust at the farm he hung out on whilst we were away.

Actually, I’m starting to feel like a real slob – really I’m a neat person!!! – as I take these photos one by one around my house. I mean, I’m not going to be showing you the neat bits and I’m worried you’ll get the wrong idea about me!

Still … we did a lot of unfucking today. Sadly we got held up by discovering a few things at the back of the cupboards. So the only before and after shots I have from today are the ones below. The rest is in a state of progress, to be finished tomorrow before my parents drop by!

We did though start putting our engagement presents away – I’ve been feeling bad about doing that til we finish writing all our thank you cards. C has a different take on that. But either way, it was definitely getting in the way and we need space for people to sit down. So we went through them and I reread all the cards and took things out of boxes.

The top of the fridge was mostly a man and puppy zone:

Now it’s turned into a great place for the beautiful cookbooks we got as presents!

I’m not allowed to throw anything out tomorrow as our bin is full again after being emptied on Friday. Still so much more to do!

We worked on the 20/10 – 20 minutes unfucking, 10 minutes break and I managed to get through some unpleasant/less fun sewing things and watched the whole season of Episodes – which I kinda liked, not awesome but a fun look at making a TV show from the side of English writers in Hollywood. I also started Fresh Meat – a UK drama about freshers who move into a uni share house. I quite like it.

There’s a bunch of awards open at the moment for nominations so I’ve finally sat down and checked word counts and so on for fiction I published in 2011.

Here is the breakdown:

Twelfth Planet Press 2011

Above/Below by Stephanie Campisi/Ben Peek

• 2 novellas, one book, both Science Fiction.
• Stephanie Campisi is eligible for Chronos Awards.
• Considered short stories by Chronos Awards.
• Both novellas by Hugos rules.
• Both are eligible in the novelette and novella Ditmar category.

Nightsiders by Sue Isle

• Sue Isle is eligible for Tin Ducks.
• Collected work
• “Nation of the Night”,  “The Painted Girl” and “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” – short stories by Tin Ducks rules.
• “Nation of the Night” and “The Painted Girl” – novelettes and “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” – short story by Hugos rules.
• “Nation of the Night” and “The Painted Girl” – eligible in the novelette and novella Ditmar category. “The Schoolteacher’s Tale” is eligible in the short story Ditmar category.

Love and Romanpunk by Tansy Rayner Roberts

• Collected work
• “Julia Aggrippina” – novelette and “The Patrician”, “Last of the Romanpunks” and “Lamia Victoriana” – short stories by Hugos and Ditmars rules
• All are short stories by World Fantasy Award rules

Thief of Lives by Lucy Sussex

• Lucy Sussex is eligible for Chronos Awards
• Collected work – eligible for Long Fiction for Chronos Awards
• “Alchemy” and “Thief of Lives” – both considered short fiction by Chronos Awards
• “Thief of Lives” – novelette and “Alchemy” – short story by Hugos and Ditmars rules
• “Thief of Lives” – novella and “Alchemy” – short story by World Fantasy Award rules
• Lucy Sussex is also eligible for the Sir Julius Vogel Awards

Bad Power by Deborah Biancotti

• Collected work
• “Cross that Bridge” – novelette and “Bad Power”, “Web of Lies”, “Palming the Lady”, “Shades of Grey” – short stories by Hugo and Ditmars rules
• All are short stories by World Fantasy Award rules

Amanda Rainey designed the covers and internal layout for all five titles and is from WA.

As for Fan Categories:

Galactic Suburbia (Alex, Tansy and Alisa, Produced by Andrew Finch) – Alex is from Vic, I’m from WA.

Live and Sassy (Jonathan and Alisa) I especially want to point at Episode 2 – Live and Sassy with Alan Beatts. Jonathan and Alisa are both from WA.

Galactic Chat (Tansy, Alisa and Sean, Produced by Andrew Finch) is eligible for Tin Ducks as Alisa is from WA. We interviewed Ian Irvine, Ben Peek, Kelley Armstrong, Deborah Biancotti, Bevan McGuiness, Kirstyn McDermott, Glenda Larke, Tansy Rayner Roberts and Marianne de Pierres.

ASif - Aussie Specfic in Focus (Alisa and Tehani) and ASif Reviewers include Alex Pierce (Vic), Jason Nahrung (Vic), Lorraine Cormack, Tehani Wessely (WA in 2011), Guy Salvidge (WA), Gillian Polack, Mitenae (WA), Ross Murray, Stephanie Gunn (WA) and Tansy Rayner Roberts, among others.

Nominations for The Tin Ducks close March 4.

Nominations for The Hugos close March 11.

Nominations for The Chronos Awards close March 18.

Nominations for The Julius Vogel Awards close March 31.

Nominations for World Fantasy Awards information available here.

Nominations for the Ditmars are yet to be announced.

Almost didn’t get a post in tonight. Almost didn’t get anything unfucked either. But then I thought that actually there weren’t that many dishes there tonight – C had caught up on them from last night – so it would be good to maintain rather than to have to attack from behind.

So – after work today I did a cardio workout, made dinner, read the latest issue of Locus, did the dishes and one load of laundry.

Clear bench:

(that’s C getting a glass of juice and temporarily putting things on the bench mid-shot)

Now I have some TPP stuff or some Last Short Story reading to get done before bedtime (in 5 mins) – arrrgh!

Well I probably can’t actually count the credit for this one. Remember how I brought all my stuff with me when I moved in, then we had double of a bunch of white goods and I didn’t want to get rid of mine because of “just in case”? C jokes that I need a truck in the backyard for the “if we break up”. So it’s mostly that but it’s also the hoarder’s thought process – it’s good stuff, it’s valuable, I want it to be *used* etc.

So yeah. Not much progress has been happening in that regard. C though has it on his to do lists to sort out and he, as it turns out, is very outcome focused (I’m more process focused by comparison). He was looking on Gumtree this weekend and found someone in our area looking for a quite cheap fridge. And he gave me the look – make the decision already! – and so yes, we contacted them and they came and had a look, were a bit nervous about why such a big and in good condition fridge was so cheap (could we turn it on and leave it running to check it worked) and in the end, they bought it. As we were moving it from the back patio to out the front for the pick up, C pointed out it had been bought from a police auction – oh yes! I had totally forgotten that it wasn’t a new fridge to start with. And um, I hadn’t paid for it either. So we got some money for it, the fridge was taken away for us and the new to Australia family got a very good deal for a pretty great fridge. And I parted with more baggage. Win all round.

Wednesday is weigh in for the program. And I might have gotten a new whizz bang digital set of scales this week – you know, the kind where you can’t lean a little to the left, lean a little to the right, til you get the answer that you want. Apparently Week 3 weigh ins are tough but I think I had my tough week last week. I lost 1.2kg this week and I’m happy with that. I’ve had to make today my rest day from exercise due to having spent more than 5 hours driving today. But that’s ok because we have a long weekend this weekend coming and I’m happy to not have the Sunday as my rest day then.

Finally, I’m continuing with my getting daily posts up on this blog and the Twelfth Planet Press news blog.

I’m kinda hoping for a regular craft post. But for now, here is one, and I’ll hope to make another soon!

At the moment, I seem to be really distracted by these teeny versions of log cabin squares. I think technically they are steeplechase or some other name but the pattern is part of the log cabin family. And what this project is is two things 1) A fascination with using the scrappiest of scraps to make something useful/art that would otherwise have been thrown away and 2) an example of how I can distract myself, go off on long winded tangents and also create huge rods for my back.

This project is a long term one. It’s a scrap quilt. It’s using pieces of fabric I really didn’t want to part with – many of the scraps are from charm squares remainders after I’ve cut the piece for my charm quilt. But the problem is, I’m finding I’m acquiring these scraps faster than I can cut and sew them up. My mother threw in a bunch of her scraps from a few quilts she made last year. And I’m really collecting scraps out of my charm square project among other projects. It turns out, it’s not that hard to accumulate scraps. And in the interests of not having this get sucked into hoarding tendencies, I’ve been really trying for the last three months or so to get on top of it (I’m not really making much headway).

The squares are small – I’ve thrown my car key into the picture for scale. And they are a little fiddly to cut and sew. I have four ziploc bags filled with pieces I’ve cut out and then I work on some other project and use the spare thread at the end of a seam to sew bits of these together. Using the scrap thread for the scrap quilt.

Except, these little blocks are so colourful and fun to make, I sometimes get a little absorbed in them instead of working on other “proper” projects. It’s distracting! I’ve been playing around with lights and darks on these and intend to have a careful play with piecing the finished squares to see what I can do with the overall picture. I’ve learned a lot with my monochrome and charm quilts about colour, lights and darks and movement and I’m interested to see if I can pull something off with this little scrap project. Also, it’s based on an antique quilt I saw once on cable TV from a dressmaker who lived in an Australian gold mining town during the gold rush. She used silks from ties for hers but it looked spectacular. I’m hoping mine will be similar. Though I’m a bit worried it might be a really huge quilt (hers was a small wall hanging).

Lately though, I’ve been so pressed for time and so immersed in other things, I’ve hardly had time for crafting at all. I’ve mostly spent what little time I’ve had on cutting out pieces for this quilt rather than actually work on anything creatively. And I’ve actually been happy with that – it’s been “enough”. And what fascinates me about that is that rarely is the prepping for a project fun for me. I like the bit just after that, the starting. And I remember reading in Quilting Lessons that some days, all she did all day was cut out pieces for a new project, and thinking that there’s no way that would ever be my activity of choice and certainly not for extended periods. But it turns out, sometimes your head is just too busy to be able to do more than that. (Maybe I was just never this busy before in my life?) And that actually that’s totally ok. Because later on, all I’m going to want to do is sew and create and PastMe will have done all the groundwork to facilitate that.

And don’t even get me started on the *wanting* to get started on the first socks for the Cookie A Sock club I signed up for. We’ve decided not to bake the biscuits that came along with the yarn for just now. But I really really want to knit along with this one all year so as not to end up with 6 balls of yarn for my stash come Xmas. Stay tuned …

On the weekend, I discovered Cat Valente’s new tumblr project Girl Unlocked and the Unfuck your habitat tumblr and suddenly got inspired. Here was a successful woman talking about exactly the same shit I’m feeling and living and not doing.

Tansy has a great post today about it too – Mothering, Writing, Pilating, Guilt. I guess as I sit here, I can hardly feel hard done by by the feminist movement – I have a good professional day job with great prospects and entitlements. I’m respected by my manager and most of the people I work with, even if I am often still the lonely girl in the sea of men at the boardroom table. On top of that, I have my own small business that I started up and is mine. And I have a very loving, understanding and giving fiance. (The puppy is um … the puppy.) But you know, as much as that is possibly living some version of the feminist dream, I still can’t shake the expectations of the domestic goddess. I am a neat person and I appreciate order and neatness. I like my pantry to have everything stored by category and be in the neat tupperware containers. I like my clothes to be clean and folded and ironed and away and waiting for me to choose an outfit to wear. I want my house to be spick and span and ready for Vogue inspection without warning.

But that is in no way the reality. Working two jobs fulltime, plus a big commute these days, and trying to make time to care for myself by exercising properly and keep up with reading, and family and friends, and have downtime to recharge. Yeah, I don’t live the domestic goddess dream. I don’t have the time and it doesn’t happen. We go to bed with dishes in the sink, clothes unhung up. Puppy toys strewn across the house. Papers not filed and away. Mess. I wouldn’t give up any of my priorities to be the ideal housewife. But its really really hard to give up the guilt and feeling of coming short when judged on my (lack of) ability to keep house. I fear people dropping by and seeing how I live sometimes (and judging me). I stress myself out because this in no way gels with my OCD which is far more under control than several years ago but still present. I can’t let go of the guilt. And the mess weighs down on my psyche, adding to the white noise of background stress.

But what to do? Can’t create more time and if I could, Twelfth Planet Press already has dibs on it. And 2012 is already more frentic than 2011 was and I know 2013 will be likewise more than 2012. It’s just the way it is.

So this whole unfucking your habitat thing kind of appeals to me. I guess in the same way that the 12 week body transformation is working for me. Basically, fucking off excuses – excuses for why you didn’t or can’t do shit are bullshit. There is only do or do not, you know? And there is mostly the suck it up princess and get on with it. I like Cat’s attitude on her tumblr. I also like seeing before and after shots of tidying. So I’m kinda jumping on the bandwagon and will try and get small things unfucked when I can and keep them unfucked from there on out. And I’ll post some photos as I do.

So these three photos to the left and above are of my dressing table. Which has basically looked like the top shot for most of the time I’ve lived here (since moving in last June). The chest is a bit high for me to actually use for dressing but I really love the wood and the deal with myself on buying it when I did (plantation wood) is I have it for life. But um yes, it was totally untidy, unfriendly workspace and facing my bed. So I both cannot find any of the lovely makeup and jewellery I own (and therefore have not been using or wearing) and stare at the clutter pretty much all the time. I realised I could actually take one of the drawers for my makeup and also use one of my lovely boxes that I love to collect but have no purpose for to lay it all out in an easy, enticing and accessible way. I actually like to wear a little makeup and some jewellery, it makes me feel good about myself. But I don’t when I don’t feel good about myself or when I have to hunt around to find it. (Of note, haven’t worn a lot of either in recent years).

And now my bedside table. A great source of annoyance to anyone else who shares a room with me. I like to take glasses and mugs to bed to drink whilst reading but I don’t like to return items back to the kitchen. I let things pile up til either something spills or I have nowhere to put my glasses when I finally go to sleep. Seriously, I don’t know how that’s a bad habit of mine when I actually am naturally neat person. Honest!

I spose it comes from now having an actual office that I work at. Though, ahem, we do have a study here and I do have my own desk. Yes said desk is absolutely covered in clutter, things to file, sort and whatnot. I spose those before and after shots will be coming soon!

Tags: decluttering, life

Well. Here it is. The big 36. The 12 times 3. The 6 times 6. The lots of numbers.

36 is scary because it’s biologically old. So they tell me. If you care about such things. 35 is the big number and 36 is MORE than 35. I can say this with some amusement because, whilst I *do* care about such things, 36 actually is not that bad. Sure I creak and groan and stuff. But you know, I kinda think it’s all going to be ok. And um, besides, I had my meltdown about this a couple of months ago now. So … yeah …

It wasn’t really a big day. I went to work – normally I take the day off but I felt it was a bit soon in my contract to do that (since I already did for the weekend jaunt to Melb two weeks ago). So that was a bit ordinary. But my inbox and twitter and phone were inundated with messages all day wishing me a happy birthday which was very cheering! We didn’t do anything special (yet) for it – I have to admit that what with finally getting my engagement ring, having a party last weekend and getting engagement presents, I’m doing alright this month! (And last year’s present continues to amuse.)

And my present from C was a combination of practical – related to my new exercise craze – and something I’ve been meaning to get round to for ages: a copy of Blade Runner, which I’ve never seen.

Back to work tomorrow. Back to regular programming.

Subscribe through iTunes or download our latest episode (from last Thursday!) at Galactic Suburbia.

Well. This blogging thing has fallen over. I’ve got so many posts I want to write and I’m beside myself that right now I have absolutely no time to even draft out words for them. This week went by in a blur. Last weekend we had our engagement party, just a small thing for very close family and friends, and I want to post about that and some other wedding related things. I’m hoping to grab some photos first – one of my uncles took like 450 photos! Can’t wait to see them. Anyway, we were utterly exhausted Sunday night after the weekend and that’s never a good way to enter the work week.

By Thursday I was so knackered that I got into work, woke up and realised I felt vile, sat at my desk working for 2 hours and ran hot and cold and awful and then got back in my car, drove an hour and a half home and collapsed fully clothed on my bed. And slept. And slept. And Slept. And I don’t nap. I mean, I NEVER nap. Not even when I’ve pulled an allnighter or flown 36 hours to the other side of the world. I hate napping. And then I was Zombie!GJ for the rest of the evening. Bleurgh. I would have also taken Friday off but we had this big meeting on and I knew that I needed to be there for it to figure out my role in the project (which I’m glad I did attend because now I do know what’s going on and how to move forward. Also weird to have been doing this gig long enough to go to random meeting with 10 people from all over the place and know like half of them really well.)

Anyway, I mostly stayed on nutrition track this week. Treat meal came a little early in the week but I’ve managed to avoid falling off the tracks this weekend. Exercise though fell by the wayside. I was just so freaking tired, I was literally dragging myself through the week and standing next to walls to avoid falling over. I skipped three days of exercise, only getting back on the wagon yesterday. So I only managed to lose 0.5kg this week. On the other hand, normally for me, a week like this one, I would have yoyo’ed back up a bit so that I’m taking as a win. But yeah. One of the excuses I noted down that I use before I started this thing, is “I feel sick” and that is such a hard one to navigate. Should I have continued dragging my arse through cardio on Thurs and Fri? I do know my body and self pretty well and I was hitting the wall on Thursday. I reckon if I hadn’t pulled the plug on some stuff, I’d have been ill in bed this weekend.

Fact is, currently this routine is unsustainable. There is no time left in the day after commuting, working, exercise and sleep. I’ve been trying to find time for TPP and that’s ended up being taken out of the sleep bucket. Doesn’t really work long term. I’m a bit better on track with the upcoming books - Showtime is at the printers, Through Splintered Walls is half at proofing and half at finalising final copy edits, I’ve begun working through Salvage edits, Cracklescape is almost ready to go to layout and we’re working on edits for Asymmetry. Though I’m only ever happy when it’s not me being the bottleneck. And it’s possible that with the end of last week, I am. And of course my readers are working through the novel manuscripts and I’ve made a start on those. Publicity and marketing are behind. And I had one grant application to submit last week (done but through the haze of exhaustion) and one still to be written for next month. And I’m working on a talk that I’m giving on a Saturday in a couple of weeks. And so on and on and on.

It’s not sustainable right now.  Tired. So very very tired.

Tags: life, Twelfth Planet Press, wedding

Check out the gorgeous cover (and back!) that Amanda has designed for Showtime (Book 5 in the Twelve Planets) by Narrelle M Harris!

Never ask me which is my favourite – I’ll never be able to decide!

Here’s what the text on the back cover says:

Family drama can be found anywhere: in kitchens, in cafes. Derelict hotels, showground rides. Even dungeons far below ruined Hungarian castles. (Okay, especially in Hungarian dungeons.)

Old family fights can go on forever, especially if you’re undead. If an opportunity came to save someone else’s family, the way you couldn’t save your own, would you take it?

Your family might include ghosts, or zombies, or vampires. Maybe they just have allergies. Nobody’s perfect.

Family history can weigh on the present like a stone.  But the thing about families is, you can’t escape them. Not ever. And mostly, you don’t want to.

 

It’s a beautiful collection of pieces, each one utterly classic and completely new at the same time… In Narrelle’s hands, everything old is new again, and everything new has the weight of age.  There’s magic in that, and in this book. — Seanan McGuire

 

The book went to the printer’s last week so I’m expecting the proofs any day now. Can’t wait to see this one in real life!

We didn’t do Valentine’s Day this year. Firstly, being finally a little bit more organised this year, I bought C’s gift online early. But um, I for some reason sent it to him at our address rather than me. So he came out wearing the particular clothes item I had sent him randomly and like a week ago and I was all … “um? Ooh … I bought you one of those just like that for Valentine…. oooh” Yes. Well planned but not well executed, shall we say?

Secondly, I am getting a particular piece of romantic jewellery later this week that celebrates our love (they rang! It’s ready!) and anything more than that seemed a bit over the top.

And we *could* have gone out to dinner or something on the night but here’s the thing: I already know how much C loves me.I know this cause he was already going to be cooking me a very special dinner at home:

Last minute on the weekend, I signed up for Michelle Bridges’ 12 Week Body Transformation. I’d been umming and ahhing about it for a while having followed her on Twitter after getting her latest book for Christmas and watching everyone in “pre season training”. I mentioned to C on Saturday that I’d been thinking about it but that it cost money to join and well, I don’t pay money for that sort of thing. We talked about it a bit and I realised that I should do it – that deciding I don’t pay for this kind of thing is exactly the kind of thing that holds me back and a way in which I self-sabotage (I don’t pay money because I don’t believe I will do it and thus will waste the money thus starting out where I think I’ll finish up and therefore do.) Within an hour of signing up, C had searched out what gear I needed to buy, had hustled me into a sports store (I somehow never notice those in shopping centres) and got me the things I needed (I got a cashback on the aircon ages ago of $100 and spent it on a step. I already had dumb bells and a yoga mat etc) and worked out what the food would be. It started Monday and he’s been cooking and preparing the food for me all week. It’s actually a really great program and so far the food has been delicious. Let’s just say it’s far more varied and interesting than the lunches I was packing for myself the last 3 weeks for my new job (where there is no canteen and not much within walking distance).

So we didn’t *do* Valentine’s day this year because we didn’t need to. Or we were already in the spirit of things, perhaps.

But I have to say, at this point in the week, I really am feeling energised and strong and it’s been a pretty interesting week for me personally. I don’t like to talk about such things here and as part of the “journey” of this program, I think I really have to. Because not talking about it, not acknowledging it, not saying when it’s gotten me down or when I’ve been actively trying to do something about it, is an old trick of mine, a trick in my bag of self sabotaging tricks. Here’s the thing, *I* am not happy with my body right now. And that’s a statement of my own feelings about myself. And I just don’t want this to be a Thing anymore.

I thought long and hard about the kind of dress I wanted for my wedding and then I thought about how much weight I’d have to lose for that and then I thought about how fucking cliched it is to go on a diet for your wedding and that really, I’m sure I could find a perfectly lovely and suitable dress at the weight I am now and look fabulous in it. And I could. And then I thought, well that’s that then, won’t worry about that. But the thing is? I know that dress would be a compromise. But beyond that, *this* actually isn’t about that at all, in any way. It’s about getting over myself and my personal baggage and not taking it with me into my marriage. It’s about dealing with a bunch of shit I like to bury away and ignore. It’s no longer giving myself permission to slack off or take the easy way or just not do things that look too hard. And it’s about being the healthiest person I can be – I worry very much about the fact that I have been ill with a bowel disease for 13 years now and the kind of toll that sort of nutrient depletion can do to a person’s body and about what that makes a body for growing a person inside. And I want to give my children the best start I can. And beyond that, I don’t want to teach them the very bad habits and relationship to food that I have. And the only way to do that is to be a better role model – not to fake it but to *be* it.

I want a fresh start. I want to deal with it all once and for all. I want to set out on a journey and be my best asset along the way. I want to believe I can achieve the goals that I set out. I want to take myself seriously? I want to be accountable. I want to feel the risk of having to share my failure rather than keep it quietly to myself. I want to be committed. So here I am, posting about it here on my blog. I’ve signed up for it, and I’ve committed to it and now I’ve told you about it. And now you know. And I know that you know. Because I’m done with all those old tricks of mine. I’m gonna buy me a new bag, an empty one and fill it with new awesome tools of my trade.

So. Wednesday is weigh in and even though I only started on Monday, I’ve already lost 1.5kg. And I’ve also already learned two interesting things about myself. 1. I’m excellent at making bullshit excuses not to do things (all kinds of things) and 2. I invalidate my own successes.

I made a list of all the excuses I use to not exercise every day. And it was a long list. And it was also a long list that was really easy to navigate around when we sat down and looked at it. And so far, I’ve worked out every day. And what else? I finally got my endorphin rush back. I mentioned back when I was doing the Couch to 5K that it never kicked in? Even after a 25 minute solid run. Yesterday it was so there. And it was so familiar but had been such a long time – it reminded me instantly of what it was like after ballet classes when I was what? 15. That’s 20 fucking years ago. But it tapped into some part of my brain that’s related to that me, the one who LOVED dancing and exercise. And I had that rush again today. I think it’s all gonna be ok. Again. Finally. And the thing is, when you start noticing how shit/good you are at self sabotage in one part of your life? You start to notice it in other parts too. And damn that’s an interesting process. I procrastinate and make excuses for an enormous amount of things. No more!

I invalidate my own successes. I watched myself today process my 1.5kg loss in 2 days. I watched myself take it apart and diminish it down to less than 0.5 a kilo because of this and because of that. Instead of just fist pumping the air (Silent Fist Pump) and wooting and about how all this hard work was paying off and so soon and oh yeah baby! No, I sat there and said, well it’s not really that great because of this and because of that. And I do that ALL the time. Ask me anything about any of my achievements and I can tell you why they weren’t really what they look like. It’s taken me all day but now I can say, hey I lost 1.5kg *so far* this week and that’s awesome and also I am nowhere near done. I just got started.

I’m having a great 2012, that’s no secret. I feel empowered and I feel like things are finally starting to come together. A lot of awesome opportunities have come my way and it’s only February. I’m a Dragon and so, yeah, 2012 just might well be my year. I’m going to harness some of the fire breathing and do some more things yet!

I had an appointment today with someone who has a second office in Fremantle. In the Old Fremantle Prison, in fact. Normally I visit her north of the river location but since I live wayyy south, we’re trying this one out for convenience.

It’s a “suite” aka jail cell.

So I parked outside and wandered in. As I opened the front gate and entered into what must once have been the exercise area between the very high walls and the building, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. Then I walked into the building itself, you can see the door in the far end, in the lower right hand side of this photo.

And … well. It looks *exactly* like every prison I’ve ever seen on television. It could have been Oz, or from Law and Order, or the Shawshank Redemption. Or any of the docos I’ve seen of US prisons. I  didn’t really expect that. Maybe they only make the one kind of prison the world over?

I wandered further in and you have to pass through a gate that still has a sign that reads “No inmates past this point”. And my hackles started to rise.

I wandered further in and saw how each suite is numbered – the numbers start again from 1 on the 1st floor which is where I was headed. And … the suites are cells. There is no getting around it. People used to live in them. Be locked in them. I really really didn’t like it. And then I climbed the stairs and imagined guards doing rounds or prisoners in lines heading up or down to and from meals or exercise. It was really really creepy and uncomfortable.

And then for complete juxtaposition, there are tables with flyers and ads on them, comfy chairs to sit in and flowerpots. And music. A couple of the rooms had music lessons going on and I could hear the violin in one and walked past an open door with a kid learning a guitar. I think that was the only thing, the sort of pull back into the now and normalcy, that saved me from high tailing it. I really really really didn’t like it. I guess it triggered something for me.

Of course, the person I was going to see has a lovely suite. She has a gorgeous persian carpet covering the whole floor. Which is in stark contrast to what the person who might have done life in there would have had. She had funky chairs and little tables and bookcases and pictures on the wall. And mostly I forgot about where I was for the time I was visiting her.

But then I had to leave. And the whole thing repeated, in reverse.

I got to leave. Which was nice.

It’s definitely a very surreal experience. It’s a good and clever use of space. And it has a very large novelty. But I never really felt comfortable there.
Yes I made the next appointment for that office. (It’s closer to home)

This fell into my inbox today, I thought it might interest a few of you.

Dear colleagues

Following the Sussex Centre for Cultural Studies conference of 2010 ‘Paranormal Cultures’, Olu Jenzen and I are editing a large reference work of new research on the paranormal: the Ashgate Research Companion to Paranormal Cultures. The book will have around 30 chapters written by scholars from the UK, USA and Europe, with many illustrations. It focuses specifically on contemporary and popular manifestations of the paranormal, rather than the Spiritualism of the Victorian era, or Theosophy, for example, which has been covered elsewhere.

The project is already well established, with many chapters completed or at the editing stage. However, we are looking for contributions of 6,000 words on further material that we would like to include. Chapters would require a short introduction to the field you are writing in/of the research context, followed by your case study and 2-3 suggested readings to follow up. The date for submission for these later chapters would be June 1st. However, we would need an abstract sent to us by February 14th please, for us to consider and then to go forward with your idea.

The specific topics or areas that we require further content on are as follows:

1. Hollywood representations of the paranormal (eg. Sixth Sense, The Others, Paranormal Activity etc)

2. The Internet and digital paranormal cultures (paranormal sites and their users)

3. Paranormal tourism (ghost walks, supernatural tours etc)

4. Commodification/commercial paranormal services (the economic dimensions of paranormal ‘industries’)

5. Therapeutic usage of the paranormal

6. Issues in law and the paranormal (legal cases in which ‘possession’ was cited as defence, for example)

Please would you kindly forward this call to any other relevant lists.
Send your abstract/proposal to:
s.r.munt@sussex.ac.uk and o.jenzen@brighton.ac.uk

We look forward to hearing from you,
kind regards
Olu Jenzen and Sally R Munt

Sally R Munt
Professor of Gender Studies
Professor of Cultural StudiesDirector: Sussex Centre for Cultural Studies
BABCP Accredited Cognitive
Behavioural Psychotherap

I described to a friend today in an email how this year is starting to feel to me – a year of consolidation. I meant it in regards to craft, my quilting to be specific. Here is the object in question, the finished quilt top of the monochrome tumbling blocks.

For a few years now, I’ve had the new years resolution to finish x many projects and have failed to deliver. This year, I have no resolutions at all. I’m content to go with the idea that whatever is really important to me, I will do. And the rest, well it was not important enough for me to do. And without such imposed rules, one month into the year and I’ve finally finished my first quilt top for the year. A project in development for over two years now. I hope to be able to have it quilted by the time the year is out. But we shall see.

And I haven’t stopped here. I’ve been looking at all the exciting projects I have queued up, and all the stash that is, as yet, unallocated. And still I am picking up started projects and working on them. I like the tidying and organising feeling of working on projects long into development and the wrapping up. Well. *This* year I like that. This is the thing I often complain about here but don’t explain well. I go through *periods*.[1] And right now, I’m in a progressing and finishing phase. I’m working on the scrap quilt and the charm quilt and finishing off the still in progress Xmas presents. And after those are done, I will be basting and quilting a quilt top I finished last year.

I like the order that is being created. But I am also aware that none of this is really at the creative end of the craft spectrum. And I wonder if I’m out of creative steam right now. I’m preferring to do the repetitive tasks of fiddling and finishing projects where all the creative decisions were made long ago in a startitis phase. I don’t seem to want to sit down and create or plan or start anything new. And actually, that’s ok. Like I said, a year of consolidation. I do do that from time to time – spend a long period just tidying and sorting and finishing things and creating order in my world. The sweeping the floor and clearing off the desk to make for new projects to come.

I’m still hard at work sorting and culling in the house. It’s down to all those boxes you never open and I’m having to look at all kinds of small objects that I don’t really want and make decisions about them. I’m doing it bit by bit. And sort of understanding how those people really turned their life around on Hoarders Buried Alive – that it really is a long and ongoing process but in so doing it also really does change the way you think and the things you do. I am so much better able to just turn down offers of crap other people are trying to get rid of. I actually told the lady at Bunnings that the Australia Day flag she was offering me would “just be one more thing I’d have to throw out later” and she nodded very knowingly. Don’t acquire it in the first place is the best rule of all. But I’m getting there. It’s an emotional process so it does take a while and I don’t feel up to sorting through my past every day. It’s not every day you feel like you can part with it and toss it out. But on good days I’m getting through a lot of it and I don’t regret tossing out anything so far. I guess soon that will make me properly moved in.

And I guess to some extent the Twelve Planets feels like a consolidation process. I’ve delivered 4 of the 12. And I’m very proud of them. I think they well represent the rest of the series to come. Book 5 is very almost at the printers. And Books 6, 7 and 8 are not far behind. All the stories have been finalised and rewrites done. And now that I have sent Jason his edits for Salvage, I realised that I might very well have done all the heavy lifting for editing for 2012.

It really does feel like it will be a good year. On the other hand, the quilt top is upside down in the photo above! It really should look like this here, and that matters to me because I agonised over the placement of the red blocks! My original idea had been to have just 3 red diamonds. But Kate convinced me that I would need blocks for the 3D effect to still work. She of course was right.

I learned a lot in making this quilt. I especially learned a lot about the effects of texture and on mixing lights, darks and mediums. I also learned that overall effect can swamp the individual pieces – I worked so hard on not placing same blocks next to each other etc but your eye hardly really pulls that much detail out to look at. And I also learned that finishing is more important than perfection. Sometimes, the lesson learned is more important and moving on and taking that lesson to apply to the next thing is more valuable than standing still, redoing to perfect the current.

I took the lessons from this quilt and immediately turned them to my charm quilt. The charm quilt has no two pieces repeated. Every piece is unique. And in mine, I’m trying to do something with hexagons and darks and lights to create yet more tumbling blocks, but this time in full colour. Turning to this project I was immediately able to see several sections that simply did not work, and why. And there was nothing for it but to unpick these pieces and replace. And there I was removing centre pieces and replacing like it was nothing. The process gave me some insight into art – the process of making art, where works are about exploring, not perfecting, a technique. Where the process of creating art is about learning to create rather than creating perfect work  for the appreciation of others.

Photos of the next quilt to come.

[1] And my issue with this is that whenever I am deep within one, I worry I will never come out, and do likely the opposite. So in a knitting obsessive period, I worry I will never quilt again. And vice versa. etc. So actually I am worried I may never knit again right now. I’m also worried if I take knitting with me this weekend, I might get kicked into a knitting binge and abandon my quilting.
 

Well today was my third Monday in my new job. Soon I won’t even be the new girl anymore. Time flies and reality has this thing it does where it freaks me out – I’m ever fascinated by the consciousness of *now* – and it’s not something I can explain well. Needless to say, this is my new routine and it’s like the old one never existed.

Anyway, I drive an hour and a bit more south each day to work now. And frankly, I kinda have my groove going on now. I leave early – about as early as I was driving the other direction – but there is no traffic, it’s a straight drive, and I get in at 8am so I can leave by 4pm and be home with afternoon/evening left. Ish. I *am* enjoying the drive. Last week I listened to Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner as well as starting to catch up on longer podcasts in my library. This week I have started with The Art of War and more podcasts. I’m way behind on podcasts having fallen off the wagon along the way so I’m really starting to feel like I’m tidying up and catching up on things. Today I really enjoyed the Coode St podcast featuring Cheryl Morgan and discussing Hugo categories and politics.

I’ve not really mastered using after work time properly yet and the only thing that is still a bit of an issue is this loss of time. (I’m supposed to be sleeping right now instead of writing this post). This the one thing that I am struggling with – the loss of time. I had a bit of a moan about it to C last week who sighed and said that I need to do less or expect to do less. To wish I wailed that if I did *less* than I do now, it wouldn’t *enough* because it’s not enough now, there is simply too too much I want to do. He shook his head at me, as he does. So I’m working on that bit still.

I’m also starting to socialise a bit more now. Remembering who has a new puppy, who is likely to be [this is a thing that they do at my work that I can’t talk about here] and ask about how that’s going or who might not be in etc. And so on. So I’m able to do that whole small talk thing with people which saves one from the awkward morning tea hanging around thing (which I was doing up til now!). Also feeling ok about laughing out across the cubicles, though not really much shouting. I’m still acclimatising to the open office floor plan again. Having worked in this style before so I know eventually I will be able to tune it all out. Eventually. Eventually. Another cool thing though is since I am now working where I am, I can do the whole “local produce” thing. They have a system at work where you can order local fresh fruit on Monday and it gets delivered to the office Wednesday. I only found out about it last week so this is the first week I’m trying it out. I ordered an 8kg box of mixed fruit. We don’t eat that much fruit round here but I’m hoping that we will, cause it’s good for you! But I might be gifting fresh stone fruit when I come avisiting! There’s lots to take advantage of and I intend to do so, since I’m putting in the hard yard of the commute anyway. I only wish I had a good way of transporting dairy cause there’s this farmer’s market near work …

That’s work. This weekend I finally managed to get to Bunnings, realising that if I didn’t go this weekend, I wouldn’t get there at all in February. I wanted to get a composting bin for our place as a partial offset to my increased commute. So I finally got one and set it up. I just need to double check what can go in etc and then we can also finally do a spring clean of the fridge I also FINALLY got a tahitian lime tree which I had been chasing for a while. And a dwarf pink lady apple tree. So there was much potting of trees and cleaning up of the patio and whatnot on Sunday evening. I just need a new pot for my lemon tree because the puppy seems to think that pot his is toy.

I’ve been wanting to start a new blog series here and had intended to post the first instalment tonight. It didn’t happen. See above re time and my loss of it. So instead I think I might try to first get back into the habit of posting everyday. Gotta start with the low hanging fruit, dontcha?

Yesterday Galactic Suburbia put up a Very Special podcast, announcing the honours list and winner of the inaugural Galactic Suburbia Award.

Below are Tansy’s shownotes for the episode. I just wanted to say how proud and honoured I am to get to play a role with my two fabulous friends on Galactic Suburbia and how truly honoured I am to read, listen, see and hear about the feminist conversation that goes on every day *out there* on twitter, on podcasts, on blogs and flickr and tumblr and at conventions.

After much discussion, and wanting in particular to create something that wasn’t already out there in the multitudinous world of spec fic awards, we came up with this definition:

The Galactic Suburbia Award: for activism and/ or communication that advances the feminist conversation in the field of speculative fiction in 2011

We didn’t put links to the honours list and winner as show notes to the podcast, because we wanted our regular listeners to have at least SOME sense of anticipation as they listened, but now it’s well and truly out there, so here is the list:

Honours List

Carrie Goldman and her daughter Katie, for sharing their story about how Katie was bullied at school for liking Star Wars, and opening up a massive worldwide conversation about gender binaries and gender-related bullying among very young children.

Cheryl Morgan for Female Invisibility Bingo, associated blogging and podcasting, and basically fighting the good fight

Helen Merrick, for the Feminism article on the SF Encyclopedia

Jim C Hines for “Jane C Hines” and associated blogging, raising awareness of feminist issues in the SF/Fantasy publishing field.

Julia Rios, Kirstyn McDermott and Ian Mond for Episode 11 of the Outer Alliance podcast (The Writer and the Critic special episode)

L. Timmel Duchamp – for continuing to raise issues of importance on the Ambling Down the Aqueduct blog and various Aqueduct Press projects

Michelle Lee for the blog post “A 7-year-old girl responds to DC Comics’ sexed-up reboot of Starfire”

Winner

Nicola Griffith – for the Russ Pledge, and associated blogging

The winner will receive a Deepings Doll hand-painted figurine of a suffragette with a Galactic Suburbia placard, hand-painted by Jilli Roberts of Pendlerook Designs. (Tansy’s very talented mother!) Each Deepings Doll is individual, so the one each winner will receive (we do plan to make this an annual tradition) will be unique.

If you have ideas for our Honours list for 2012, please email us at galacticsuburbia@gmail.com or tweet @galacticsuburbs